Why Fear When I am Near

At about 2:30 p.m. on April 24,1986, in the hot, humid and sultry climate of Hyderabad, I felt giddy and had a blackout. My wife prayed to Bhagavan [Sai Baba] and simultaneously she applied vibhuti  [holy ash] on my chest. I regained consciousness within minutes and saw my wife, my son, and his wife hovering over me. I asked them what had happened. My wife narrated the sequence of events and said that Baba had responded and brought me back to consciousness.

Photo of Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai BabaA doctor who was called in took me for a check‑up at the nearest Air Force Hospital. There the ECG (electro cardiogram) showed variations. As a result, I was driven in a semi‑open ambulance to the Military Hospital in Secunderabad, 50 kms away, over rough and uneven roads through dense traffic. There I was put on drip through a needle tied to my left wrist; a tube from an oxygen cylinder was inserted into my right nostril, and both my wrists and ankles were strapped up with leads to a monitor, for 72 hours. Neither at the time I had the blackout, nor at the initial check‑up in the Air Force Hospital, or during my 27 days at the Secunderabad Hospital, or at Madras where I have been convalescing did I ever have the fear of death, because Bhagavan Baba had assured me on September 21,1974, during an interview at Brindavan, “Why fear when I am near?”

At that time I wondered why Swami had modified His usual statement, “Why fear when I am here?” I thought to myself, if He had said, “When I am here” I might have inferred, “only when He is in Brindavan or Prasanthi Nilayam!” That assurance served as a protective umbrella over me, saving me from many dangers and near‑death situations.

To name a few: when I was commanding an Army division in the high‑altitude, snowbound region of Ladakh on the Indo‑Tibetan border, I was flying over the 18,920 feet high Kardung La pass when my helicopter was caught in turbulent weather. Some metal part of the helicopter fell off, forcing us to crash land on the narrow rock-strewn sandy patch on the River Indus bed. I was praying all the time to Sai Ram. He saved us from a fatal accident.

On another occasion when I was travelling in a station wagon on the winding, uneven mountain road between Ranikhet and Almora in the Uttar Pradesh State, we saw the front right wheel of our station wagon going ahead of us and falling off the slope toward the deep river on our left. We prayed to Bhagavan. The driver had the presence of mind to switch off the engine, and through His grace the vehicle cruised gradually into the slope of the hill on our right.

In July, the Lord was driven from Bangalore to Madras and back, 720 kms to and fro, to bless me with strength and courage. Let us endeavor to install Him in our hearts, ever aware that He is near to save us from fear. Bhagavan is indeed the dearest, the most loving, the most eager companion and kinsman.

~Maj. Gen. S. P. Mahadevan
Source: Sanathana Sarathi, Sept. 1986

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