Your Mother is Also Here

In the 1970’s and 80’s Faith served as Prasanthi Nilayam seva dal, President of the Manhattan Center, SSEHV/Bal Vikas teacher, and co-chairman of the national bhajan committee, appointed by Dr. John Hislop. Presently she is the Education Coordinator for the Manhattan Center.

During the 1970’s and 80’s, I was able to stay in Prasanthi Nilayam for long visits, by Baba’s grace, often with the blessing of service at the ashram. The gratitude I have for this precious time is beyond words.

In an interview in the late 1980’s, Baba spoke about staying on and working there for a longer period. I wanted this with all my heart and had only one concern that I needed to express to Swami. I was concerned about my mother who was getting on in years and living on her own in New York City. I was able to say, “Swami, my mother is there.” He replied, “Your mother is also here.” I then asked our Divine mother, “Will You take care of her, Swami?”  Swami lovingly answered, “Yes, I will take care of her now, and later you will take care of her.”  I did not know the meaning those words would have in years to come.

During my earlier visits Baba would sometimes ask, “How is your mother?” I love to remember Him saying, “She is very good.” There was a time when Baba said that He would see my mother in New York! His words have many levels of meaning but they clearly applied to the time when my mom wrote to Him about a very difficult family situation. On the evening that she mailed the letter in New York, Baba came in her dream and answered her concern. In His way He gave her both peace of mind and darshan [sight of a holy person] as well! On another occasion He said to me, “It is good that you take care of your mother. It is what you should do.”

We so often see the ways that Baba touches our families. At first my mother’s interest in Swami came from my experiences and the changes she saw in me. After learning more about Him, her respect, trust, and love grew. Baba has His own personal, direct connection with each and every precious soul. This was really all a part of their relationship, one that has always been and always will be.

By 1991, the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease in addition to other health problems meant that my mother—always energetic, brilliant, and beautiful—could no longer live on her own. Baba’s words were there for me to hold on to through the years that followed and the devastating changes this illness brought. His words were my guidance, support, and comfort. By His grace, I was able to be with my mom and take care of her in her home. This was His blessing and gift.

Decisions had to be made at every step of the way. Our family is small and I turned to Baba and relied on Him continuously. At times it was an uphill battle with medical professionals. Confirmation often came in unexpected ways to show that He was with us. When the cardiologist said that my mother’s heart function had improved he added, “That just doesn’t happen at this stage.” It is God’s love that heals our hearts. A wonderful physical therapist worked with my mom over a period of five years and has remained a friend. It meant a lot to know that she reported on this “model case” to her colleagues because my mother did so well.

There is deep sadness that comes with seeing the ways that Alzheimer’s disease affects the ones we love. Visits and phone calls from devotees and friends mean so much—every kindness helps. I was rarely able to attend center meetings, but I found that when I played and sang bhajans [devotional songs] at home my mother enjoyed them as much as I did. They brightened everything.

Baba’s love was with us, and that is always the greatest assurance of His presence. Just a few days before her passing in 2001 at the age of 90, my mom was still able to enjoy playing her piano at home. That is His grace. I cherish Baba’s words, “Your mother is also here.” They mean more than ever, so many years later.

~Faith Jill Hollander, New York, USA