Someone Up There

Amitava Ghose is the President of the Sathya Sai Baba Center of Cherry Hill, NJ. He had most of his education in India and is presently working in Salem, NJ. The following is a narration of his experience with Baba when he was fighting his battle with cancer.

Up until my teenage years, I sincerely believed in God. Unfortunately, as I grew older, teenage arrogance prevailed and belief in God faded into obscurity.

My parents were devotees of Sai Baba. I, on the other hand, never had any inclination to follow their lead. Irreverent in my attitude toward Baba, I seized every opportunity to mockingly dismiss the miracles performed by Him, from the materialization of Vibhuti (sacred ash) and Amrita (divine nectar) on the pictures of Shirdi Sai and Sathya Sai in our house in Calcutta to my father’s astounding cure from paralysis, which led his treating physician to proclaim, standing before Baba’s picture, “This is not my doing. My medicines did not do a thing. You have cured him! I may not be a devotee, but I recognize what you have done….”

Paralyzed from the neck down after he fell from a moving bus, my father was fully cured several months after the accident, after drops of water that had inexplicably appeared on the glass covering a picture of Shirdi Sai in our house were poured into his mouth. Incidentally, on the day this phenomenon occurred, my mother, highly distraught over my father’s agonizing condition, had written a letter to Baba in which she had pleaded with Him to cure my father.

Notwithstanding the miracles recounted above, my attitude toward Baba did not change!  Such was my arrogance and ignorance.

Sai Baba has often said that when the time is right, try as we might to keep Him out, God will enter our life and infuse it with beauty, wonder, and meaning. This has been my personal experience, slices of which follow.

Some time in January 1980, my office conducted its semi-annual blood drive. I had occasionally donated blood, but this time I decided not to, as I was not feeling quite well. However, on the day the drive was conducted, I felt an inner urge to donate blood. After I had done so, the doctor told me that my blood pressure was elevated and advised me to see a doctor at the earliest.

At my wife’s insistence, I consulted a physician in April. An electrocardiogram (EKG) was performed, which was within normal limits. My blood pressure, however, was high. The doctor also detected a lump on the right side of my abdomen. Diagnostic X-rays followed. A specialized X-ray of the kidney (IVP) revealed a horseshoe kidney (two kidneys joined as one) the right portion of which was not functioning and there was a large mass (approx. 9” x 6” x 3”) of a suspicious nature with pockets of calcification. The doctors recommended surgery, which I underwent at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia in May 1980. The surgeons removed the right portion of my kidney where the tumor was located. Much to my relief, the tests performed on the frozen sections of the tumor were found to be benign.

Some three days later, I was told that the pathology report revealed the tumor to be malignant. These findings were not congruent with those of the frozen sections, which, as we learnt later, are not 100% accurate. Worse yet, the cancer I was suffering from was identified as Adenocarcinoma, a rare, fast-spreading form of the disease, for which chemotherapy was not considered effective at that time.

The prognosis looked bleak, as the tumor had attached itself to various organs in my abdomen. I was informed that I might have just a few months to live. Despair set in. My younger brother and my wife, both of whom, unlike me, had faith in Baba, urged me to read the book, Sai Baba, Man of Miracles by Howard Murphet, and to pray to Baba. The book gripped me to the core and evoked a sense of awe in me. Surprisingly, I began to feel a tremendous surge of inner strength.

The doctors ordered a series of specialized scans. Following a week of extensive tests, they recommended a second surgery to scrape all the organs to which the tumor had attached itself, and to remove as much of the tumor as possible which had encased the Venacava (one of the main blood-carrying veins). The chances of recovering from such extensive surgery were estimated to be between 30 to 40 percent, but this was the only option I had. My wife and I prayed to Baba for help and I wrote Him a letter.

Baba, I believe You know everything that is happening to me. In fact there is nothing You do not know. Due to my ignorance, I did not believe in You and even ridiculed You. I have now realized who You are and the purpose of Your mission on Earth.  If I can be a part of that mission, please keep me here. 

The second surgery was performed in June 1980.  This surgery, which was expected to last 12 to 16 hours, followed by a week to ten days in the Intensive Care Unit, was completed in six hours, subsequent to which I was sent to the recovery room. The remaining part of the tumor, which had attached itself to the intestines, stomach, the left portion of my kidney, the Venacava, and the abdominal walls, was easily removed, leaving the organs and the vein intact. The doctors were cautiously optimistic.

On testing the tissues removed during surgery, they were pleasantly surprised to find no metastasis to any of the surrounding tissues, although the removed tissues had tested positive for Adenocarcinoma. This was surprising to the point that the doctors sought a second opinion on the pathology report. The data, slides, and samples were sent to a national research lab (National Institutes of Health) in Washington, DC. The lab confirmed the malignancy that had been diagnosed and reported earlier, and identified a secondary malignancy of the Carcinoid family.

The panel of doctors handling my case, which included the heads of the Urology and Oncology departments of the University of Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia, was baffled by the results. The tumor was of an extremely aggressive strain. Judging by its size, it had to have been present in my body for at least a year. It had firmly attached itself to the other organs, yet it had not invaded deep into the organs and was easily removed! It was as if someone had programmed the tumor to stop growing. In addition to this, my blood pressure that had shot up prior to the two surgeries had inexplicably returned to normal. Had my elevated blood pressure, which was the only reason I sought medical help in April 1980, been willed by someone up there?

To mend our shattered nerves, my wife and I surmised, Baba made His presence felt in the form of a delightful fragrance that filled our house one evening when my wife returned home from the hospital.

In spite of the encouraging news, the doctors cautioned me not to return to work, advised me to write a will, and visit my parents in India as they could (at best) guarantee six months of cancer-free life. They were practically certain the cancer would return and affect my lungs within six months. To make matters worse, they were considering putting me through a round of chemotherapy, which they felt would delay the possible recurrence of the tumor.

Having seen the devastating effects of chemotherapy on the cancer patients around me, I quickly wrote a letter to Baba requesting His help in dissuading the doctors to pursue this course. On the day I was scheduled to be released from the hospital, the head of the Oncology Department came to see me and said, to my utter amazement, “We have made the decision not to put you through chemotherapy. We will keep a close eye on you and leave you in the hands of God.”

In June 1980, I was discharged from the hospital. On the same day, my wife discovered a Vibhuti (sacred ash) packet in my wallet, tucked between the pictures of Shirdi Sai and Sathya Sai that I always carried in my wallet to please my mother. The only persons with possible access to my wallet were the nurses who had attended to me while I was at the hospital. As it turned out, none of them knew anything about Baba or the sacred ash! Did someone up there place the Vibhuti packet in my wallet?

In February 1981, my wife and I traveled to India to visit Baba and secure His divine darshan. When the magnificent orange-clad figure appeared in the distance during evening darshan at the Brindavan ashram, my heart filled with joy.

After about ten days of beautiful darshans, rumors began circulating that Baba would be traveling to Ooty [a hill station in southern India]. A few days passed. During darshan one day, a devotee asked Baba, “Where are you going?” He smiled, and with a serious expression on His face said, “Rumor has me going to Ooty.” Everyone broke out in laughter.

Through a reliable source, we came to know that Baba would soon be traveling to Hyderabad. The official announcement came a few days later. Our parents advised us to follow Swami while they traveled to Puttaparthi. My wife and I booked two seats on the afternoon flight to Hyderabad.

During the hour-long flight that seemed more like a few minutes, Baba materialized Vibhuti for the crewmembers, who were thrilled to no end. It was a wonderful feeling to see Him and be in His divine presence. Once we reached Hyderabad, Baba blessed us all and left for Shivam (His ashram in Hyderabad).

My wife and I checked into a hotel close to Shivam. After a few days spent in the divine presence, we realized that our chances of having an interview with Baba were very slim. Time was running out. Our parents were waiting for us in Puttaparthi, and we had but a few days left before our return to the United States. We decided to return to Bangalore and Puttaparthi. We made our flight reservations by phone, packed our bags, and left for Hyderabad airport. While checking in, curiosity impelled me to ask the ground personnel whether they knew when Baba might be returning to Bangalore. To my pleasant surprise, I learnt that there was a reservation for Baba and His entourage on the very same flight as we were scheduled to take. With great anticipation, we boarded the plane.

At the last moment, Baba and His entourage entered the aircraft. I was so excited, I could hardly breathe. Baba blessed everyone and sat by the window in the front row. Dr. Gokak and Col. Joga Rao sat beside Him. Dr. Bhagavantam sat in the second row behind Baba.  There were two empty seats next to him [Dr. Bhagavantam]. Moments after the flight took off my wife approached Dr. Bhagavantam and asked if we, i.e. she and I, could occupy those empty seats. He graciously agreed. Thus, we moved closer to Baba.

Sitting in close proximity to Baba was an opportunity and experience beyond our expectations. He was like a child, smiling, conversing, and materializing Vibhuti, looking out of the window and pointing to objects down below. Someone handed Him a letter. He graciously accepted the letter and began reading it with full concentration. The idea came to me to write Baba a letter. I wrote the following words on a small piece of paper.

Swami, I have come from far. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to talk with You.  Amitava Ghose

I handed the letter to Baba after He finished reading the one in His hands. Before I could return to my seat, He turned toward me with a heart-melting smile, raised His hand, and said, “Interview in Bangalore.” “Oh! Swami!” was all I could say, shedding tears of joy. The plane landed in Bangalore. Baba blessed us all, and left us with a glorious parting smile. Dr. Bhagavantam cautioned us not to set our hopes high as the interview Baba referred to on the plane could, in fact, be granted the next day, weeks, or months down the road.

With unabated enthusiasm we sat in the darshan lines in Whitefield the following day.  As Baba walked amidst the devotees gathered there, I could see from a distance that He was looking for someone! As soon as His eyes fell on me He smiled and said, “Remember, I told you on the plane that I would grant you an interview. Go!” I walked toward Baba’s quarters in a dream-like state with my wife following behind me. Baba selected a few more devotees and returned to His quarters to talk to us. We were all seated in the foyer leading to the inner room, with the ladies on one side, and the men on the other.

Baba entered the foyer through the inner room, smiled, and looked at us one by one, as a mother would with her children. We felt there was nothing we could hide from Him for He knew us through and through, cell by cell. He materialized Vibhuti, gave some to all of the ladies in the room and asked them to swallow it. My wife saved some of her share for me. Noticing this, Baba walked directly to me, materialized more Vibhuti, poured it into my hand, and asked me to swallow it all, which I did.

“How are you mother? How is your health?” Baba asked one of the elderly ladies. “By Your grace, I am fine, Baba.” she replied. “Why are you hiding the truth from me, mother? Baba knows everything… I know you are not well…” so saying Baba, with a circular motion of the hand, materialized a shiny silver medallion, which He gave  the lady. The elderly lady broke into tears.

After talking to the group, Baba began calling each individual family to the inner interview room. When we entered the interview room, my heart began racing. Baba graciously asked us to be seated. Love was flowing from His heavenly face! When He noticed I was perspiring, He immediately turned on the ceiling fan. It was moving to see God in human form performing the most mundane tasks, in this case turning on a switch, and personally attending to the comfort and needs of His children.

Baba first spoke to us about the vagaries of the mind, and how the mind leads us to insatiable, endless, and futile desires. He then spoke to us about private matters, which no one else knew about. He said, looking at me, “Swami knows everything… you have a short fuse and you are always fighting with your wife…Ha! Swami knows.”

He then began relating, in vivid detail, my bout with cancer, the surgeries, and the emotional stress my wife and I had experienced. He said, “Your cancer has vanished… you have long life ahead of you… I saved you… God saved you, but you must promise Me one thing before you leave, and that is not to worry about cancer anymore. When Swami assures you that you are cancer-free, you must not for a single moment give way to doubt. Go and be good.”

I would like to mention here that with this assurance, Baba took away our worries, once and for all. The thought of cancer recurring has not crossed my mind since that moment. He then waved His hand with His palm open and, in a flash, a silver medallion materialized in the center of His open palm! He detached the medallion from His palm, gave it to me, and said,  “Wear it.” What followed was an outpouring of Love.  Baba granted us Padanamaskar galore and showered His blessings on us. When I asked, “Swami will I be with you during the Prema Sai era?” He firmly replied, “ Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Baba handed out Vibhuti packets to all present. He then walked over to my wife and I, and gave us two handfuls of Vibhuti packets and looking at me with a smile said, “Remember the Vibhuti packet you got at the hospital? Same!” The interview then came to an end. It was a wonderful experience.

It took us a while to realize that the interview had ended. We reluctantly walked toward the gate. On the same day we left for Puttaparthi and shared our experiences with our parents, who were overjoyed. Baba’s departure for Puttaparthi was imminent. Nevertheless, we decided to leave, as we had to return to the United States. We rented a van and began our journey to Calcutta, somewhat heartbroken that we could not wait to get a last glimpse of our beloved Lord. Midway between Puttaparthi and Whitefield, our driver exclaimed that he could see Baba’s car coming from the opposite direction. We asked him to stop, quickly filed out of the van, and waited by the roadside for a last glimpse of Baba.

As Baba’s car passed, He noticed us and immediately tapped on the shoulder of His driver, asking him to stop the car. Baba’s car and the cars following His stopped on the other side of the highway, about 50 yards away from us. Baba stretched His head out of the window and called us, waving His hand ever so gently and lovingly. We ran to Him. What a blissful experience! For full 15 minutes we basked in the sunshine of Baba’s love. He granted us padnamaskar, blessed us profusely, and gave us fruits as prasadam (blessed food, gift from God).

Baba gave oranges to everyone. When my turn came, He stopped and said, “Ha! I know you had cancer… Baba cured you….” So saying, He gave me a red apple. To the remaining members of our family, He once again gave oranges. It was not until later that I realized why I had received an apple and not an orange from Baba’s hands. On the day I had been admitted to the hospital in Pittsburgh, one of my colleagues had brought me a red apple that he had received as prasadam while visiting the Pittsburgh Venkateshwara temple. Now, several months later, I had received an apple from the divine hands of Lord Venkateshwara Himself, as a reminder of His ever-flowing grace.

~Amitav Ghosh
Cherry Hill, New Jersey, USA