Swami’s Gifts of Prayer

The following excerpt is taken from Loving God by N. Kasturi, published by the Sri Sathya Sai Books and Publications Trust. The author shares his personal experienceon how Swami teaches us to pray.

The evening bhajan (devotional singing) session was to start at the stroke of six. Men and women were streaming in with flower garlands and thick tulsi [holy basil] rolls. Baba took these from their hands and “flicked” each up, so that it fell around the head of the tall idol of Krishna on the dais and settled around the neck. Baba sat on a carpet spread on the floor facing the Krishna, which stood before the life-size picture of Himself. Within minutes, His elder sister, Venkamma, hurried in and took her seat with the women on the line nearest the shrine. Baba sang a bhajan, line succeeding line, in the sweetest human voice. The rest of us repeated the line after Him. We were about forty people in all. The sister sang the next bhajan. Her voice, too, was entrancing and exceedingly genuine in communicating the pangs of the soul.

I sat wondering why Baba was leading the bhajan, singing strings of names to be repeated by the amateurish devotees sitting behind Him. My neighbor whispered that Baba was singing His own compositions on Himself and that Venkamma was His first and foremost pupil among all the youngsters. Agitated by doubts, I quieted my mind, telling myself emphatically that Baba was only teaching us to pray in the same way a mother teaches her child to speak by crooning simple sounds, bending her face toward the baby on her lap so the baby can learn to reproduce the sounds.

In fact, His avataric (divine) mission is to awaken us into the awareness of Himself in us and around us. “Strange, piteous futile thing!” He accosts us, while we sleep the sleep of sloth. “Ah! Fondest, blindest, weakest!  I am He whom thou seeketh.” He holds us, with majestic presence, to the abode of supreme peace, Prasanthi Nilayam. He strives to save those who stay in the presence, stray away, or come to bask in His sunshine. He writes out “prayers” for each distinct individual to sublimate his unique longings and disinfect his peculiar shortcomings. I have with me a few of these prayers.  I am going to boldly reveal the contents of three of these, graciously given to me on His birthday in 1959, and as part of the New Year’s Day blessings of 1960 and 1962. They are very much along the lines of the bhajan songs: only the agonizing thirst of the self for the overself, which is encased in a phrase like “Krupa Karo, Bhagavan” (grant mercy, O Lord) or “Darsana deejo” (bless me with Thy vision) are here elaborated into a prayer for grace, and an affirmation of faith.

Will You, my Lord, let go the hold?
You will not, You will not, You will not let go,
However bad I be.

Will You, my Lord, let me waste my years?
You will not, You will not, You will not let me waste,
However dull I be.

Will You my Lord, let me run to ruin?
You will not, You will not, You will not let me ruin,
However wayward I be.

Will You, My Lord, let me escape Your eye?
You will not, You will not, You will not let me escape,
However wanton I be.

You cannot but rush to rescue Your own,
You cannot delay for weighing pro and con;
You cannot stay unconcerned when we weep;
You cannot but respond to the prayers of the poor.

When 1960 dawned, I received the following prayer composed by Him and written by His own hand on a greeting card. In order to heighten the joy of receiving the jewel, Swami sent the card through someone, asking that it be dropped at a Post Office five miles away, at Bukkapatnam, even though I, the addressee, was in His presence, at Prasanthi Nilayam. When the postman delivered the blessing with my other mail, the surprise, the thrill, the gratitude, and the yearning to express it all directly to Him, rendered me incapable of speech or movement.

I firmly believe there is none kinder than You,
To shower Grace on me.
Tell me, is this not the reason why
I am at Your Lotus Feet?
I firmly believe You will respond quick
When I do pray and plead.
Tell me, is this not the reason why
I am crying aloud for You?
I firmly believe You are ever beside me to guide my steps aright.
Tell me, is this not the reason why
I am Yours thro’ day and night.
I firmly believe You can never say ‘No’
Whatever I ask from You.
Tell me, is this not the reason why
I long for a glance from You?

What have You designed for me this time?
Why this dire delay to offer boons?
However long You make me wait and wail
I will not leave, I’ll be standing still
Until Your loving eyes do turn on me.

Post Script: “Kasturi, begin the New Year with the above prayer.” And the blessings and boons follow in plenty for, He writes, “Endowed with long life and sound health, surrounded by children, grandchildren, and friends, keep on imbibing joy through bhakti (devotion) and jnana (knowledge). I bless that your days be spent in the service of Sarvesvara (the Lord of all); spend your life in abundant peace and happiness. Baba”

Note the infinite compassion and the insistent exhortation to do good and be good…

Let me share with you another prayer which Baba composed for my use and sent through the postman from Prasanthi Nilayam Post Office to me at Prasanthi Nilayam, in order to give me a pleasant surprise on November 23, 1962, His birthday.

Hoping You’ll guide me
This day or the day after
I await your call from day to day.
Hoping You’ll give darshan,
But afraid You may not,
I’m all-alert from hour to hour.

Hoping You’ll come to me straight
This very instant,
I’m watching and praying ever anon.
Hoping You’ll smile at me
At last, though not at first,
I’m longingly gazing with thirsty eyes.

I shall stand and stay, in deep distress
Until my day of bliss does dawn;
I am Yours, Your own, though exiled far.
Dear Father mine! Do heal Your child.

Those of us who received such surprise gifts soon rushed to His presence to place ourselves at His feet. Baba would then reciprocate our joy. Taking the letters from our hands, he taught us to recite the prayers and elaborate the sentiments that illumine our minds when we address the prayers to Him. He would tell us that prayer need neither be unction nor erudition. It was just conversation with God. Ramakrishna pleaded with Kalimata, “Pray Thyself in me. Teach me to seek Thee.” When we recite these poems He gives us or sing the bhajan He puts into our mouths through our ears, “He is praying to Himself in us,” or rather, “We are praying to ourselves, for He is the Self we are.”

Source: Loving God