The Avatar of Love

This is part two of an article by, Richard Margolin, based on a talk he gave at the Silent Retreat in New York in October 1993.

(  Part 1  |  Part 2  )

We left my father’s room at about 7:30 PM. After a few steps down the hall, I felt compelled to go back and say good bye. I kissed him on the forehead and said “Om Sai Ram.” I believe they were the last words anyone said to him. In the elevator going down, I saw a light that filled the space for a brief moment. just as we got home my sister called. She was crying. She had been just told by the hospital that my father had died.

I believe, Baba says it is most important to pray for the first 10-12 days after someone’s passing away. So, I prayed quite intensely. The following Sunday, I believe it was Rosh Hoshana—the Jewish New Year—I heard my mother crying. She had just dreamt that my father was in the kitchen fixing breakfast. Suddenly he started to wave his arms almost frantically (which is very unlike my father) and said have to go, I have to go.” In the dream, my mother tried to stop him but he vanished. And she was left crying, “please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me.” When she woke up, she really felt for the first time that my father was gone. While this was a very difficult moment for my mother, I knew that Baba was answering a prayer. Interestingly, in the Jewish faith, the period of mourning also ends on Rosh Hoshana.

I became quite concerned about my mother. I prayed very hard. I prayed that Swami would “look after” my mother. I spent the weekends at my mother’s home. One day when we were out for a walk my mother, very cautiously, said, “Richard…” and I said, “Yes…” she said “There is a little man on a pillow floating around my head.” I said “What?” She said that he was sitting cross-legged on a maroon cushion and was just swaying gently from side to side with an almost silly smile on his face. She said she kind of liked him! She said that he was wearing billowy trousers and had a round face with a gray beard and had little pinched cheeks and almond shaped eyes.

When she mentioned the billowy trousers and sitting cross-legged, I thought III February 1994 it might be Shirdi, being a cross between a Moslem and Hindu. So, I decided that the next time I visited my mother, I would bring a book that had a photo of Shirdi—the one of Him sitting on some rocks with His right leg crossed over His left knee.

Shortly after I arrived on my next trip down, my mother said, “Richard, remember that little man I told you about? Well, he’s way over there now”, pointing to a kitchen wall. “But I don’t think that’s him. I think it’s somebody else.” Again, I asked her to describe him. “Well he’s sitting with his right leg over his left knee and it looks like he’s on a stone fence.” At this point I, showed her Shirdi Baba’s picture. Her face turned beet red and she started yelling “that’s him! He’s sitting right over there! Oh my God, you’re seeing me! Who is that?” When I told her that was Sai Baba and how fortunate she was to have a vision of Him, she started to calm down. After a while she actually clutched the picture to her chest and went to her bedroom. She later said the first person she saw was not Sai Baba. She thought He was a kind of Yogi—angel that was preparing the way for Baba

The next morning, she came over to my room in tears, holding a book. “Do you know what it says here about my little man?” It says He’s the Avatar of Love and then she pointed to a sentence in the book. She said “Look!” ‘When I looked down, I saw where it said “Lo, I will be with you always.” With that, in a bit of a daze, she silently wandered off to her room.

Earlier, whenever my mother visited my father in the hospital, she said that he would look over at her with an expression on his face—one of affection and love and deep appreciation, she had never seen before. She said Shirdi sat in the position with His right leg over His left for about three weeks. Except that there was one difference from the photo. She said that His head was facing over his left shoulder, watching everything she did, and she said that His face had the exact same expression of love and affection that my fathers did in the hospital room. Sai Baba, quite literally, was looking after her.

~Richard Margolin
New Jersey, USA

(  Part 1  |  Part 2  )