Ashrama Dharma
Q. In this cosmos that is the human body, what is the best dharma [right action] to follow? Which ashrama is most conducive for that dharma? How many ashramas are there in all?
A. There are four ashramas in all; if you know about them, you can yourselves decide which ashrama you are to fulfill, examining your own achievement, progress and aptitude. Brahmacharya [celibate], grihasta [householder], vaanaprasta [the anchorite], and sanyasa [the renounced] are the four ashramas.
Q. Different explanations are given by different persons for the word brahmacharya and the stage it denotes. I wish to know from you the real significance of that stage.
A. Very well. It is believed that those who have not become householders are entitled to be called brahmacharis. This is very wrong. Only those who keep their mind away from the delusions of the world, who are constantly engaged in the thought of God, who do not see or hear light or merely entertaining stuff, who pursue good taste, who do not yield to joy or grief, who keep their mind, intelligence, and self-consciousness in good trim by unremitting contemplation of the Brahmatatwa [Brahma principal]—only such deserve the name, brahmachari.
Q. What exactly does grihasta mean?
A. Being married and living with the wife and children do not constitute grihasta ashrama as most people think. Without giving up the duties assigned to one’s caste and status, the person has to treat all with equal consideration—kinsmen as well as others. He must be aware of the rights of the elders and the obligations of juniors. He has to be full of sympathy and willingness to help. He should treat with loving kindness all those who are dependent on him. He must grow wiser with each new experience of the world.
He should acquaint himself with the shastras [scriptures] and be alert to do dharma and avoid adharma [unrighteousness]. He must foster and protect his wife and children with a sense of responsibility. He has to trample down the eight egoisms, the conceit that develops from family, wealth, character, personal beauty, youth, scholarship, native place, and even accomplishments in austerity. [He should be] conscious of the four goals of dharma, artha [economic development], kama [sensual enjoyment], and moksha [liberation], with no pride in material possessions though he might have them in large measure. [He should be] utilizing a portion of the day in the service of others; with no designs against any other household. He himself should deserve the trust of his wife and have a trusted wife, each understanding the other and having full faith in the other. Such are the ways in which the grihasta manifests.
Source: Prashnottra Vahini
