Understanding Ego and its Problems

Every day, we are required to identify ourselves. If we travel quite frequently we are asked to produce some legal form of identification such as a passport. If we buy something, we usually hand over a credit card with our picture on it, and produce a signature. This is because we associate worldly things with our own selves. A series of sounds is our name. A human face in a picture or mirror is our own. If someone were to steal money or a laptop, we would call the police and say, “They stole my money, and my laptop.” How can you justify these objects as yours? These things are transient. Even on the spectrum of worldly things, money is ephemeral. We hand over pieces of paper and metallic discs to others just for food and water. The only reason something is “mine” is because we agree on it. If there were a dispute, we would produce receipts and records to justify ownership.

But how can something worldly be ours? When we are born, we bring nothing with us. When we pass on, we take nothing with us, not even the clothes or trinkets we wear! You may ask, “These things have nothing to do with getting rid of our ego! How does identifying a problem help me?” But are these two things really irrelevant? The more we associate ourselves with worldly objects and with our bodies, the more we get trapped in the maya [illusion] of this world and develop a sense of a worldly I. We develop a high status, such as CEO or President, and our pride begins to kick in. “I am John Smith, CEO of Whitman Consulting Enterprises! I have a huge mansion, and three exquisite flats in Europe!” How will this help you in the long run? Swami does not care at all about this, whether you are from New York City, living the rich life, or a poor, but kind simple villager. What he looks at is your deeds, your character, and your attitude.

You may say, “ Well, what do you know about this? How do I know that you even have the same views as Swami on this issue?” In fact, Swami has talked several times about this issue. One such time was when he was talking to his students. One particular student asked, “How should we get rid of our egos?” Instead of answering, Swami asked, “Where are you from?” The student replied, “Swami, from Delhi.”

“Oh! Where is that?” Swami asked. Everyone was surprised. Why was Swami asking this kind of question? Still, the student replied, “Swami, Delhi is in India.” “I see. And where is India?”

Again, everyone was baffled. Once again, though, he student answered, “India is in Asia, Swami.” “Oh, Asia? Where is this “Asia”?” This went on until no one could expand any further, as they had reached the universe. Then, as Swami saw them struggling, he said, “You asked how one should get rid of ego. In the entire universe, out of hundreds of billions of galaxies, there is a single one, called the Milky Way. In this galaxy, out of so many solar systems, a single solar system contains a planet called “Earth.” Earth has seven different continents, and across the biggest of them all, Asia, one nation called “India” exists. There, among thousands of cities, one named Delhi sits in the upper region of this country. And out of millions of people, a single person, you, lives there. Where is the place for ego?”

How can we recognize when ego is surfacing within us? Strong emotions are a sign of ego. You feel your own emotions: anger, greed, jealousy; and you remain separate from others, not understanding why conflicts are occurring, and you go on living your own life. This is because the mind is fickle and unsteady. There is a reason the mind is called a “mad monkey.” It is always restless, and never stops jumping. To fix this problem, we should lose our emotions by calming our mind. This can be done through meditation. Once we calm our minds, and bring this mind under control, we can perform tasks with single-minded focus.

Another way to get rid of our ego is to do service to other people, and see Sai in all. Nearly all of our daily and long-term problems are because we see ourselves as the body and everyone else as different. All over the world, across different faiths, a common message resounds, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” And as Swami says, “Love all, serve all.”

Serving people alleviates karma [action], and gives one a sense of fulfillment. If you have done service before, you know what I mean. Seeing a smile of gratitude on someone’s face and making a difference in their lives makes a huge difference, and is much better than buying a new car. Even science is investigating this concept. In about 50 different colleges, some people were given about 20 dollars to spend on themselves. They spent it on clothes, Starbucks coffee, and other things. Their happiness did not go up by much, as these types of purchases were normal and routine in their lives. Some other students were also given 20 dollars, but spent it on the homeless. It was found that they were extremely pleased and content during the entire day. But then, the scientists thought, “Well, these students are doing well in life, and do not have to worry about getting food, or money. Let’s try this in poorer areas of the US, and in places like Ethiopia or Nigeria.”

In poor areas of the US, people were given 350 dollars to spend, some on themselves, and some on others. Poor African farmers were given 380 birrs, the approximate equivalent of 200 US dollars. They too were asked to spend the money in specific ways. Both groups using the money charitably were much happier surprisingly as compared to the ones using it for their own reasons. These findings were presented in the TED Talk “How to Buy Happiness.” Religions say that buying happiness is something that is just not true happiness.

You must know where to spend it. Consider this. If you were given 200 dollars right here and now, where would it go? It probably be deposited in a bank account. This is what typically most people, including myself, would do. I do not presume myself to be better than others. I am merely summarizing some of Swami’s teachings. We take these actions because of our ego. We are more concerned about ourselves than about the welfare of others. If we were all concerned about the welfare of others, would not the world be a better place? Everyone would be helping each other and we would all live happier lives!

You could say, “Well, these points are valid. But you can hardly expect me to spend my savings on the poor, or dedicate the rest of my life to the poor. I am busy. I have to provide for my family!” You would be absolutely right. But that does not mean you shouldn’t spend half an hour, or even fifteen minutes to calm your mind. Riding the wild, untamed horse of your mind is impossible without controlling it, through meditation.

Another thing you could is to see Swami in all. This does not mean falling at the feet of your business clients. It means that you should treat your clients, boss, and other colleagues as if they were all Swami. If your client comes in for a meeting, treat him as if Swami has come in for a meeting to discuss your product. Speak to him or her lovingly even if it is not reciprocated.

Once, a bully was harassing a student when he was trying to read. Instead of reacting violently, the student simply smiled lovingly at him, and kept reading his book. The bully soon began cursing at him and calling him names. The student lovingly and silently smiled at him. The bully eventually left, angry and tired. This student controlled his ego by not getting angry, and letting his emotions get the better of him.

Getting rid of one’s ego is a huge step in one’s spiritual progress, and even helps in one’s worldly life. It allows a person to understand others, and help and love them. Ego causes all sorts of worldly problems, ones that can usually be avoided. By removing our ego, we learn how to control our minds, and take a big step toward Swami. And as Swami says, if we take one step toward him, He will take 100 steps toward us!

~Anirban Mahanty
Group 3, Loudoun Sai Center