Self-inquiry
The late Sri Ratan Lal, a devotee of Bhagavan Baba, used to speak to the foreigners who came to Puttaparthi for Baba’s darshans. The following essay has been excerpted from those talks.
That which exists is called by different names such as consciousness, real being, the One, atma, and God. It is the substratum of the whole manifestation. It is that which is; the real. Its nature is pure existence, without attribute, independent, without beginning, endless and inalterable.
Existence and consciousness are identical. When consciousness gets associated or entangled with the world, mysteriously a phantom called I, or the ego, or the mind, rises which is only a reflection of its source.
Nothing exists without consciousness, nothing is apart from it. It is unbroken, unaffected and unchangeable in all periods of time. It is prior to everything and is the basis of everything. It is like the screen on which the film is projected, itself remaining unaffected by the film. Being the substratum of everything, axiomatic and prior, consciousness is not an object to be known.
When consciousness becomes conscious of something other than itself, it is called mind. The mind identifies itself first with matter and suffers the limitations. This is an illusion. The first thought that appears in mind is, “I am this body.” All other thoughts take their origin from this first thought, so this “I” or the ego is the mother of all other thoughts.
Where the ego is, the real I is absent, or moves around secretly. It is hidden like the sun behind a cloud. When we wake up in the morning, the first thought to arise is “I”, and it is the last thought to disappear before one falls asleep. Similarly it is the first, last, and only thought to be removed to dispel the ignorance that hides our true reality and takes the non-real as the real. While experiencing the limited, the limitless is unnoticeable, though it exists at all times as the substratum at one with the world and our ignorance. To focus on the limited, that is on names and forms, is to fix attention on the seen instead of the seer. What is needed is to draw the attention toward the seer, and hold on to it. When the mind unceasingly investigates its own nature, it transpires that there is no such thing as the mind. This is the direct path for all.
Mind, which is nothing but an imaginary I, is a non-entity whose capacity to function comes from its own source. Mind takes itself as the subject, but is nothing but an object, a shadow of the real self. So all the objects that rise and disappear are external to the true subject; they rise and fall within consciousness, the constant substratum of the world. Turned outward, the mind sees the differences, discriminates between this and that and I and you. Turned inward it sees only one, the atma, the real being. The attention is now only on itself; consciousness is always self-consciousness.
As limited beings we believe our true nature is to think, but our real nature is pure being. To think is the nature of the mind; and the mind must be overcome, which means that dualism must be overcome. But the mind does not want to extinguish itself; it does not want to surrender to its ultimate reality, which is pure silence. It will find excuses and make obstacles for itself with intellectual arguments, because this is its nature. Without thoughts there is no mind. There is nothing more threatening to mind than the emptiness, the void, and that is why it does not want to give up its old habits and its wrong identifications.
Consciousness and happiness comprise the true nature of the mind, although it is ignorant of this. When we feel happy for a moment for some external happening, that is our own nature, our essence. The reason for all suffering and sorrow is the limitation of consciousness brought about because of the ignorance of our true nature. Through love—through divine love—one can discover one’s own identity. When we in our worldly relations think we love, it is not love, but attachment. Only by activating discrimination, i.e. fundamental discrimination, which can discriminate between the real and the unreal, between the sentiment and the insentient, the appearances and that in which everything appears and disappears, and by dedicating ourselves fully to that which we are, can we discover our true nature.
In the deep dream state there is no thought, mind, or body. There is no want, deception, or fear. If we were awake during the deep dream state we would have been in Samadhi [inner communion], unity, in the state of self-experience, the true being, and the real. Inquiry is always inquiry in the mind, asking ourselves “Who am I?” and waiting in silence for the silence to give us its answer beyond any mental expectations that are always relative. This is how to inquire. Thoughts should be wiped out. When thoughts arise we should inquire, “To whom do these thoughts arise?” and then we can come back to our source.
Consciousness is only conscious of itself. Consciousness would realize itself that it is not the mind, but itself. So liberation is nothing else but wiping out the false idea of being bound, and be in the ultimate state of abiding consciousness. As long as we think ourselves to be limited, separated from the rest of creation, we will have to make an effort, and this practice undertaken will prepare the mind, making it calm enough so as to merge where the spontaneity of being appears. The worldly desires must be reduced, because desire, laziness and knowledge are one and the same. When there is no desire and no fear, the attention would automatically be drawn towards the spiritual heart, the seat of bliss. All the attention should be put on the source of the mind, the real, and finally the mind will plunge into the heart and abide there.
But can the mind, which is only an object, comprehend the being, which is the only subject? To believe so is a mistake. The mind wants liberation for its own sake, it desires heavens. It is the mind itself that must be dissolved and extinguished in the ocean of consciousness. The seeker can be liberated only when ignorance is removed. Once it is done, self is already realized, it is perfect existence, consciousness, and bliss. Being is free from all thoughts and movements. To experience being is only to be, to be what we really are, ‘being’ itself is like knowing the self. Therefore the spiritual practices are only a preliminary stage that helps to control the mind, to make it still. The limiting mind is the very instrument that can make us free, although it cannot free itself. The freedom that we speak of is more that of getting rid of the feeling of being an individual. Without this feeling it is impossible for the mind to exist.
In the inquiry one should try to hold on to the notion of I, that is, to shift the attention from the seen to the seer. At least the I looses the feeling of its false, separate identity, merges in the “we,” and then disappears into the ocean of the absolute.
During the inquiry one will experience varied results. Different states may come and go. But one should not give up the inquiry, because constant practice is needed to realize the fruit. The mind will lose its name and form, and with that it will forget all other names and forms. It will come back to the place from which it departed knowing that everything is a dream, superimposed on the one, that which exists. On the world stage the atma or consciousness plays many different roles, and in these roles, as different minds, it feels happiness and pain. But beyond all these roles there is nothing but one author and actor, which is consciousness itself, unchangeable and full.
To realize the worth of making the inquiry one has first to be immersed in this knowledge. The complete acceptance of this knowledge, of the oneness of reality is the only way to make the mind start true inquiry. The mind must learn to obey, and to turn its attention away from the external. Attention must be drawn inward, because love for being is attention toward being itself. Love and knowledge must walk hand in hand, for knowledge without love is dry.
Devotion toward a Divine being with name and form is the first step. This will conduct us toward our true reality, toward our natural state. Once we love the real being as much as we today love the non-real, the one, the being, the consciousness will reveal itself to itself and our work will be finished.
Source: Spiritual Impressions
