The Handkerchief

Having had the privilege of living at Prasanthi Nilayam for 14 months, I carefully observed one particular phenomenon associated with out sweet Lord, Sri Sathya Sai Baba. My observation became focused on Swami’s use of the handkerchief after He makes Vibhuti [holy ash]. It brought back memories of my early Catholic upbringing, when the altar boys gave the priest a clean white handkerchief in preparation for the transfiguration of bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ. To me there was always something very sacred about that clean white handkerchief. It seemed to represent a very pure service to the Lord. Inwardly I always wanted to be an altar boy in order to be one of the nearer servants of God. However, being a girl this privilege was denied to me.

I really never gave Swami’s handkerchief much thought until I closely started observing the people who offered Swami a handkerchief. Many of the people who consistently had a handkerchief ready for Swami were those who were doing seva in the Ashram. I thereby concluded that offering Swami a handkerchief represents serving the Lord.

What is the meaning of `handkerchief’? Within it we find two key words `hand’ and `chief. Basically, the hand represents service. For example, `lend me a hand’, `give me a hand’; `chief’ comes from French and means head, also master. Symbolically then, handkerchief can be translated to mean service to the Divine, the Godhead.

Having decided on the symbolic meaning of handkerchief, I resolved to put my thoughts into direct action. At the next opportunity, I would be prepared to offer Swami a handkerchief. What was required for me to carry out this simple task for Swami? I bought a white handkerchief and placed it in a plastic bag so as to keep it clean and ready for Baba’s use. It was important to remember always to carry it with me, as I had no idea when Swami might use it. My dream to become an altar boy was turning into reality.

Shortly thereafter, Swami made a Vibhuti box for a woman on my immediate right. While I was intently looking at Swami making the Vibhuti, I realized that was my opportunity to serve the Lord. But where was my handkerchief? I had to search deep in my purse, open the plastic bag and offer it to Swami. When I finally looked up and held out the handkerchief, there was Swami patiently waiting for me to serve Him. I wondered who was serving whom. When Swami tossed the handkerchief back into my lap, I was overwhelmed by His powerful love, a love that is even greater than a mother serving a child. To serve Baba, one must have no thought of self.

This experience taught me that I needed always to be prepared. This meant having the handkerchief out and ready for Swami at every single darshan [sight of a holy being]. I needed also to pay very close attention to every single movement Swami makes so that the handkerchief will be offered when He makes the Vibhuti.

The next handkerchief episode went off very smoothly until I was holding Swami’s used handkerchief. At that instant, the woman next to me started asking me some things about the handkerchief. At first I became very irritated with her and simply wanted her to quit bothering me so I could continue to watch Swami give darshan. She persisted until it finally dawned on me that I should give her the handkerchief. I already had one and certainly did not need two. Immediately, one of the great teachings of the Gita came to my mind: Do not be attached to the fruits of your action. I handed the lady the handkerchief and was immediately rewarded by her sweet `Thank you’.

As the handkerchief saga continued, Swami again materialized Vibhuti. However, this time nobody offered Him a handkerchief. I was very reluctant to hand Him one, because I was sitting in the third row and would have to climb over other people. My thoughts were primarily concerned with what other people would think of me—(Pushy Polly). How can one be of any service if one is only concerned with one’s self‑image? As a result of my inaction, an opportunity to serve was lost, but a very powerful lesson was learned. If your action toward Him is pure, your steadiness toward Him will be rewarded.

Only a few days later, I was given the opportunity to practice my new lesson. This time Swami made Vibhuti some distance from me. I immediately held out my handkerchief for Him, knowing that someone else would probably offer Him one before He reached me. What happened is that He took one handkerchief from another lady. As I started to put mine away, He immediately came and plucked it out of my hands and graciously wiped His loving hands. What joy and love I felt for my Lord who was only rewarding me for a deep inner need to serve Him.

The above situation happened during morning darshan. I usually purchased a new handkerchief immediately after Swami used one. However, on this particular day I became side‑tracked and forgot to make the purchase. I quietly said to myself that Swami would not make Vibhuti near me twice in one day, that was highly improbable. But the highly improbable soon became a stark reality. Swami made Vibhuti almost directly in front of me and then He quietly waved His Vibhuti-filled finger near my face. Nobody offered Swami a handkerchief. The people who usually had one ready for Him were nowhere to be found. What a difficult lesson for me. I was not even capable of doing the smallest service for the Lord. How would He ever use me for some more difficult task? You cannot forget the Lord’s service for even one single moment.

There were still more lessons to be learned about service because Swami once again took my handkerchief. But this time, instead of tossing it back to me, He threw it to the Italian lady sitting directly in front of me. I selfishly pulled it out of her lap before I realized that I should let her have it. In `my mind’ I had already promised this handkerchief to someone else. My `I’ got in the way of service by not truly letting Swami work through me. The Italian woman insisted I keep the handkerchief.

Approximately 15 minutes after the above incident, while I was quietly sitting in my favorite mandir [temple] window seat waiting for bhajans [devotional songs], this same Italian lady fell on the back steps in the mandir and cut her head. I was immediately called to help and administer first‑aid measures and take her back to her room for comfort. I reluctantly had to make the supreme sacrifice of giving up my favorite bhajan seat to serve the lady. If you are pure in your desire to serve, you must be willing to sacrifice (even one’s greatest love, which for me was sitting for bhajan with Swami.) Swami says, `Where there is love, there is sacrifice.’ Learning to serve with love is learning to sacrifice.

My final episode with the handkerchief leela [divine sport] involved one of my last darshans. I was having visa difficulties and had been praying to Swami that I could remain in His physical presence. On this particular day, Swami made Vibhuti for one of His teachers very near the mandir. I was sure that either a student or teacher would offer Swami a handkerchief. However, he walked straight to me and took my handkerchief. I prayed for His guidance regarding my visa and that He use me as His divine instrument. Almost immediately, I returned to the U.S.A. and began taking care of my father, who was suffering from a recent illness. Once again Swami demanded that I sacrifice what I most desired, which was to remain in India. True service involves the sacrifice of what we most desire. I have only begun to understand the great significance of these handkerchief leelas.

Each morning as I look at Swami’s pure white handkerchief that He so delicately touched with His loving hand, I am reminded of these wonderful lessons:

1. To serve, one must have no thought of self.

2. Always be prepared to serve the Lord.

3. Do not be attached to the fruits of your service.

4. Think only of your service to the Lord, and not of thoughts concerning your own self‑image.

5. Do not forget the Lord’s service for even one single moment.

6. Learning to serve with love is learning to sacrifice.

7. True service involves the sacrifice of what you most desire.

I pray that by putting these lessons into practice, my own flesh and blood will be transformed into Swami’s Divine love, just as bread and wine were transformed into the body and blood of Christ at the Last Supper. I pray these experiences will have some meaning for my Sai brothers and sisters.

~Polly Kirby, New York, USA
Source: Sanathana Sarathi, June 1985