The Four Important Qualities
In Bharatiya [Indian] culture, the four goals of human existence [purusharthas] are: dharma (righteousness), artha (earning wealth), kama (fulfilment of desires), and moksha (liberation). It may not be possible for all human beings to achieve these four goals.
There are four qualities that man must develop if he must pursue the four purusharthas properly. These are very necessary and the failure to understand these four requisites is the cause of many grave consequences. These four are: maitri, karuna, muditha, and upeksha. These are the important qualities for everyone and the characteristics of each of these qualities have not been understood or explained properly.
Maitri (friendship) is regarded as mere friendliness. What is friendship? Whom should you befriend? How is one to be friendly? These aspects have to be understood. One should not cultivate friendship with all and sundry. Friendship should be cultivated only toward those who are one’s equals in age, status, culture, etc. Friendship with those above or below one should be avoided. This is the true meaning of friendship. When you try to befriend those above you in status, they may try to patronize you. When you do not like to be lorded over, the friendship will break. When you develop friendship with those below you, you may attempt to boss ever them. When they do not acquiesce in this, the friendship will break up. Therefore, friendship will be enduring only when it is as between equals in age, wealth, status, etc.
Karuna (kindness or compassion) should be shown toward those who are in a lower position than ourselves in respect of age, wealth, health, status, education, and the like. Only then compassion becomes meaningful and valuable. Kindness justifies itself in such cases.
Muditha (appreciation) relates to the attitude shown toward those who are better off than you. You should feel happy when you see such persons. They may look wealthier than you or better placed than you in position and possessions. You should feel happy on seeing them. You should rejoice at the sight of those who hold higher positions or score higher marks. Muditha means freedom from envy and feeling happy over the better fortunes of others.
Upeksha: There are two terms apeksha (liking) and upeksha (dislike or disinterestedness). We should have no liking for those who indulge in bad deeds or entertain bad thoughts. They should be kept at arm’s length. Keep away from all those who are filled with bad thoughts, indulge in bad talk and bad actions. This is Upeksha.
If you cultivate these four qualities, you do not need any other goals in life. Friendship with equals, compassion toward the lowly, rejoicing in the good fortune of those who are better off and keeping away from the wicked—these are the true objectives to be pursued in life. It is because of the failure to observe these directives that the quality of life has deteriorated.
Sri Sathya Sai Speaks, Vol 22 (1989)
Contact with the external world is maintained by the senses for the sake of these experiences that yield joy or grief. In order to escape being tossed about on the waves of joy and grief, one should cultivate unconcern (upeksha), an attitude of welcoming either, as a sign of grace. Shri Ramakrishna said that if you must avoid the sticky fluid in the jackfruit from contacting your fingers when you peel it, you must apply a few drops of oil on them. So, too, he said, “if you do not want the world and its reactions to stick to you, have a few drops of ‘unconcern’ applied on your mind.” This unconcern leads to the deepest yearning for God.
Sri Sathya Sai Speaks, Vol 7 (1967)
