The Path to Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is essential in order for one to achieve all of life’s goals, particularly the ultimate goal of oneness with the Absolute. Humility—which builds patience, and tolerance—helps develop a balanced, positive, and healthy sense of self-confidence. But humility and low self-confidence are not the same thing. A strong sense of self-confidence reflects an awareness of the inner divinity present in a humble person—and lacking in someone with low self-confidence. To pursue the spiritual path, we must work hard to eliminate all negative conditions of the mind —one of which is low self-confidence.
Cultivating selflessness will strengthen our self-confidence. Aspiring for the happiness of others is one of Swami’s directives. We see it in this prayer that He asks us to recite, Loka Samasthaa Sukhinobhavanthu [may everyone in all the worlds have peace and happiness]. The peak of spiritual aspiration is to pray selflessly for the happiness and welfare of all. This prayer expresses the very core of Swami’s teachings and His life, which is His message. Developing such benevolence, the highest form of selfless love, requires courage, strength, and consistency.
As Swami says, “People should understand the distinction between worldly love and spiritual love. Divine love yearns to give. God’s love goes on giving. That is the true mark of Divinity, a sign of purity. Spirituality is opposed to the ways of the world, though the latter cannot always be avoided. If you present your actions to God as an offering, they will be sanctified. Whatever you achieve, treat it as a gift from God. You will realize your true humanness, consisting in the unity of good conduct, good thoughts, and good speech. Never depart from the truth. Let love freely flow from your heart.” (Guru Poornima Discourse, 7/9/98). This prescription for self-confidence offers the best route to positive thoughts and actions, as well as to a constant flow of positive energy. It eschews the negative forces that restrict the self.
Swami’s fundamental teaching of love (in fact, the way He addresses all of us as the “embodiments of love) conveys an extraordinary meaning and a profound lesson. Love is difficult to define. The purest and most exalted type of love is an unqualified and unselfish wish for the happiness of others—all others, whether or not we like them or see their value. Swami sets a shining example of this quality which is the Supreme Being’s most singular attribute. When we are the manifestation of this purest form of love, there is no longer any room for low self-confidence.
A healthy, spiritually directed self-confidence begets many positive consequences. This is true because the underlying meaning of the prefix self is based on a genuine concern for others and the desire to serve all. [Concern for all requires self-confidence of the highest order and strength.] Only through such feelings can a person reach true happiness—in the spiritual sense of the word, which implies union with God, not a result of pleasure and sensory experience. This spiritual feeling of happiness equips us to feel and share the selfless love that Swami expects from us.
For those who have sat in darshan lines, a familiar experience is to hear Swami say ever so gently as He glides by, “I am happy. … Happy. … Swami is Happy.” These words have a profound significance. The very purpose of our existence is to seek and find happiness. This particular happiness is not of a personal nature – self-centered, self-indulgent, and pleasure seeking. Happy people are self-confident, forgiving, and giving. Human nature is essentially compassionate and gentle. The purpose of our lives is to achieve true happiness. A conscious effort to seek happiness of this sort can profoundly change our lives and touch others in the process. In fact, the quest for happiness of this sublime nature is the most important path to self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem. This happiness transcends pleasure, pain, sorrow, and distress of every description and intensity.
When feelings of unhappiness overwhelm, remember Swami’s words, “Human birth is a rare privilege—sacred and sublime. Man is endowed with memory and reflection, which enable him to search for the meaning of life and truth. Troubles and difficulties are incidental to human existence. What is permanent is love, truth, and dharma..” (Guru Poornima discourse, 7/9/98). Take heart in remembering the inviolable law that governs life: All will eventually attain perfection.
The plan and purpose of nature tends toward attaining perfection. All beings, sentient and insentient, are moving toward the same end. Carbon, buried for ages under the earth, turns into diamonds—great potential for a piece of charcoal. Time and environment contribute to the process. As a further example, we love a delicious apple. The perfection of the fruit brings delight to the one who eats it. The process of evolution has brought the apple to this point. Of all beings that strive for perfection, mankind has special merit. Man’s effort can lead him to immortality. Man seeks perfection, not of the body, but of the mind. During countless rebirths, minds undergo modification to reach the eternal. A pure mind is confident of its “self.” It has been cleansed of all imperfections; it has become fit for brahma jnana (realization of the Absolute); ultimately, it becomes Brahman itself—an attainment only open to human beings.
All actions become sacred in the hands of a person endowed with self-confidence. With the self-confidence born of love for His creation, all actions become liberating and sacred.
The world seems to be a mixture of good and evil. The mind’s restlessness and tendency to recognize evil are interrelated. In fact, evils seen outside are projections of the mind; they have no external reality. As we gain more self-confidence, by cultivating selfless love for all and by basking in our true, blissful nature, the evil we see diminishes. Our susceptibility to sorrow and restrictive thinking also lessens. When the mind is perfectly pure, all evil and all sorrow vanishes. Selfless thought and a joyful mind lead to purity and to our experience of Divinity. Self-confidence, selflessness, and happiness are hallmarks of a pure mind. The atma (soul) or reality reflects best in such a being, ultimately allowing him or her to merge with the Divine.
~Latha Pothuri
New Jersey, USA
