The “Sai” Dream

I have some kind of disbelief in the dreams I see of Bhagavan. I am inclined to view half‑heartedly and suspiciously the veracity of such dreams, unless confirmed by Him (in that case I ask no questions!).

One simple reason for this is that most of the dreams have been unfulfilled. So, I convinced myself that the dreams I saw (those of others may be different) were merely those of wish‑fulfillment and no relevance whatsoever to the reality.

Another reason is that most dreams have soothed me and comforted me, that is, they occurred in the way I would have wished them to occur. So, I was further convinced this was only a manifestation of my own dream‑consciousness, asserting its authority in the dream‑world, though it could not move a blade of grass in the sensuous world.

Moreover, a good part of my consciousness was filled with Bhagavan, and so if I had to dream, the probability of dreaming about Him was high. Such dreams would be natural phenomena, and not explicitly the result of His Sankalpa.

But another thing that struck me very much, and which I discovered, to my great discomfiture, only recently was that I never could dream without `myself’ being present in it in some form! Either I was present as the central figure (as in most cases) or at least as a spectator.

However, I am yet to come across a single person who has dreamt without being present in some way or without being connected in any way in the dream. That is why Bhagavan has said: `I’ is the identity that PERSISTS in sleep, dream, and waking. And since Patanjali has called Samadhi, “experience without dreams” it is well-nigh impossible, and if ever it occurs it would be in the highest stage of spiritual elevation, and I am not in that, I know only too well!

The same thing also happens in our thought, sleep…etc. I can’t visualize anything in the cosmos without ME! Either as spectator or as something else, because ‘I’ am the identity that will PERSIST everywhere, always! This is also a sign of the ego or whatever may be left in us of it after having been cut to size by HIM.

However, I did dream another one last week, which I was forced to believe because of its extraordinary nature. I will `censor’ the “wish fulfillment” part, which in any case will center around my EGO and tell you the more interesting part.

Though I have always been speaking, thinking …of Swami for nearly 9 months, (after the summer course), I never had a Sai dream, not even one of wish fulfillment, during this period. On that particular day, I was not quite well and so, incidentally, I had comparatively less time to think of Swami than on other days. Yet, the dream did come after 8 months, nearly.

I saw Bhagavan on the 1^st floor of our house in my study-cum‑puja room. He was sitting on my chair beside my table that was full of papers and trash. I was standing. The first question I asked Him was: “Bhagavan, when I am with you (i.e. in Parthi) I am alright, but when I come here (to Trivandrum [southern part of India]) I am not at all well. See the state of table, dirty and disorderly, could you not find a way out of this impasse, please?”

Bhagavan: “Yes, Yes, that is why I have come”

Me: “Bhagavan, I have composed so many songs on you. What is your opinion about them, are they good?

Bhagavan: (Love is vibrant in His voice, to quote Mr. Murphet) “Why are you asking such a question? Was it not I who gave those songs to you? Then what is the meaning of your question?”

(I am silenced for a moment)

Me: “You seem so close to me now, and so loving, but when I come there, sometimes you do not see me, you are so neglectful, why do you do this?”

Bhagavan: “Why do you ask such things? How can I neglect anyone? After all, I and you are one and the same. Then is it proper to speak of neglect here? Do you think so?

(Baba continues) “You must know to discriminate between the real and the unreal. Now, there is dream. As a dream, it is real, but as otherwise, it is not. This is relative reality, as distinct from original reality (probably the word was absolute reality). You think the world you see around you is real. No, it is only relatively real. The true reality can be perceived only by the ATMA. Remember.”

I must confess I cannot disbelieve such dreams easily because of the depth of thought involved therein. Moreover, this dream’s course was not charted by me, it went in a surprising direction.

—S. Sankar, Summer Course Student (1978)
Source: Sanathana Sarathi, May 1979