“A Devotee’s Diary”
Sonya Burke went from Arkansas in the U.S. to spend six months at the Lotus Feet of Bhagavan Baba. Here she shares some of her experiences, including watching a play with Baba.
I had the good fortune of visiting Lord Sathya Sai Baba from March 13 to September 8, 2003. It was a wonderful experience. I enjoyed celebrating the various festivals in His Divine presence. I spent about 10 days at the breathtaking resort of Kodaikanal, about 6,000 feet above sea level. The sky there was of an unusual violet-blue hue, and it made me feel as though I was in Kailasa [Shiva’s mountain abode].
Soon after we returned to Whitefield in Bangalore, Swami slipped and fractured His hip. For the next three weeks we had no darshan [sight of a holy person] except for the occasional window or car darshan. There were many devotees who had come from far off places and did not even get a glimpse of Baba. It was only when we yearned to get a glimpse of Him did we realize how precious were His darshans, and how we had taken them for granted all this while.
On June 14 a very large group came from America, which included devotees from Texas, Arizona, and Oklahoma. I had the privilege of joining this well-organized and dedicated group. We participated in a number of service activities like food preparation, serving, and cleaning up in the western canteen; cleaning bathrooms; and donating items to orphanages.
Although there were no darshans, we would wake up early and go for nagarsankirtan (singing the Lord’s name in a procession around the ashram streets). After that we would assemble for meditation. At 4 P.M. we would sing devotional songs and at 6 P.M end with chanting the Sai Gayatri mantra 108 times.
Seeing our dedication and devotion, Swami assigned a speaker to address us daily. One day He sent us prasadam [blessed food] and a lovely calendar. On another day He sent us vibhuti [holy ash] and a picture of Himself. He even sent saris for the ladies of the group and clothes for the men. Needless to say, we were in seventh heaven.
The students of Sai Spiritual Education in Texas had prepared a play entitled, ‘There is only One Religion.’ They continued their practice despite the awareness that they may not get permission to perform it. However, everyone was very thrilled and delighted when Swami sent word that He would attend the performance. Right after darshan one day, Swami came to the hall in Whitefield for the performance. I was so fortunate to get a seat very close to Him. Finally we had His darshan after many weeks.
The props, costumes, and performances were all absolutely fantastic. Throughout the play Swami was very intent on what was happening. He was really enraptured by the scene where Meera [devotee of Lord] drank poison with Krishna’s name on her lips. After the play, Swami posed for photographs with the performers. Then He walked up to the youngest actress of the play, materialized a chain for her, and put it around her neck. He asked her if she remembered that He had blessed her when she was three years old. After more photos Swami blessed everyone and left. All were very happy to see Swami after such a long absence. Prasad and food was distributed to each person present.
At the group meeting later, a thank-you card that Swami sent was presented to the actress who played the part of Meera as per His instructions. It is apparent that Swami expects the highest standards from all His students inside and outside the ashram. He wants them to put forth their best efforts; only then will He lavish His blessings, as was demonstrated in this awesome outpouring of grace for this group.
On July 7, Swami again gave darshan and delivered the Doctor’s Day message, in which He spoke about His injury and thanked the doctors who had taken care of Him. He gave guidelines to the doctors for giving their best to their profession. He also advised the devotees to rise above body consciousness and to emulate Him.
At times Swami would sit in His chair on the temple verandah during afternoon darshans and speak with the students, counseling and instructing them so that they put forth their best efforts. During one such session, Dr. Anil Kumar asked the following question: “Swami, we are here by your sheer grace and mercy. You say you spend three-fourth of your time with your boys (students). What do you want [all of] us to do?”
Bhagavan: “There is nothing you can do for me. I don’t need anything from you. I only give and never receive anything from anyone. I never stretch out my hand before anyone in order to receive something. I have never asked anybody for anything until now. In fact, all things happen according to Swami’s will. But I ask you to give me one thing and that is enough. What is it? It is your love.
Your parents sometimes stay away from you. But I am always with you, below you, above you and around you. I am, indeed, yourself. You remember this always, and that is enough. You follow Swami, you will shine like a precious gem in the future. You will be highly respected and you will get a good name in society. Whatever you have learned in the hostel and the college and, on top of all this, the love of Swami you have received, should never be forgotten. Get for yourselves a good name. Follow Swami’s teachings.”
One of the last festivals that I attended was Krishnashtami [Krishna’s birthday festival]. Swami fed Sai Geetha [His elephant], who was elaborately dressed for the festival. The cows from the Gokulam [cowshed] were decorated by the students—who were dressed as gopalas [the Brindavan boys of Krishna’s time]. They were then brought to Sai Kulwant hall [where Swami gives darshan] for Swami to bless them. He released white doves as symbols of peace and love. Later Swami gave His discourse and distributed prasad.
It was my last darshan and I wanted to be seated in front so that I could get His blessings from near. But my token number was 15 [meaning the 15th line to enter the hall]. I was very disappointed, and when I saw a volunteer I knew, I asked her if she could give me a place in front as it was my last darshan. She said that it was not possible as everything was full. However, she called me soon after and gave me a seat in the first row.
With Swami’s grace I had very good darshan and prayed silently in my heart to Him to bless me. As He passed by, I held up my hands and He turned and looked toward me and held up His Divine hand in blessing.
The theme to my trip was: “If you look to me, I will look to you.” In the beginning of the trip I saw this quotation very often and knew that it was a personal message for me. I saw it printed on a Sai photo hanging on the wall of the Whitefield flat where I lived for one month. Amazingly, these were the first words Swami said in His Doctor’s Day discourse delivered on July 5, 2003. So the theme of unshakeable faith in Bhagavan was emphasized in this manner.
I left Puttaparthi shining like a gem with the grace of His love and presence. Toward the end of the trip, I felt I was established more firmly in the truth of Swami’s omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence. Several times in darshan, as Lord Sai passed by me, I would speak silently in my heart to Him, and inevitably He would respond with a look or a gesture.
I know that there isn’t anything Swami does not know. He is present with us right now. He is right here among us, ready to guard, guide and, above all, love us.
