Grace is Always There
My first darshan [being in the company of a holy person] of Swami was in May 1990 at Whitefield during my first and only visit to the Divine presence. At home, in Melbourne, I had left behind a fretting and worried father who, being very orthodox, thought his son was going to the devil.
On some occasions during my stay with Him, Swami would stop and look into my eyes. He would then speak clearly into my heart, making me feel quite at ease while this happened. After the event, however, particularly the first time, I was somewhat dazed and in awe of it all.
For days at darshan, just as Swami came near me, eager devotees in front would stand up and block my view. One day when this occurred yet again, I thought to myself, ‘Oh no, not again.’ All of a sudden, the standing figures in front of me parted like the waters of the Red Sea, and in His unique way Swami looked into my eyes and spoke into my heart. ‘I know you are here …. ‘ Without doubt you know and understand my joy.
A couple of days later Swami once again stopped. We looked at each other and not an audible word was spoken, but communicate we did. Swami gave me a message this time; He wanted me to write to my father. Swami advised, ‘Write a letter to your father, a letter that will bring him peace.’
Better than write, I’ll telephone him, I thought. But try as I might to get through to Melbourne, I couldn’t, even though others had no trouble contacting relatives in Australia while I waited my turn to use the phone. Then I realised: Swami wanted, me to WRITE. So, I designed a letter that would bring peace of mind to the father I loved.
‘Dear Jack, I am very well, healthy, and happy. God looks after those who truly seek to find and know him. I love you, Kevin.’ After writing this short letter, I read it and realised that it was from my heart and absolutely true. I did not want to post the letter from India as I had a feeling it wouldn’t arrive in time. A devotee from Perth, who was returning to May 1995 Australia, said she would post my letter in Singapore or Perth. After this was taken care of, the matter was no longer on my mind.
And then the Universal Doctor went to work on me. Swami has often said that if He sets out to do something He will succeed, and succeed He did. By late June so much had happened that I felt it was time for me to return to Melbourne. In my meditation, I asked Swami for permission to go or for Him to stop me if this was not His will. As things turned out, I did return home.
The Saturday was as though my heart evening darshan of June 23, 1990, was a moment I shall never forget. I was in the back row, where I had recently been a lot. Since I was to leave in the morning, I so much wanted to be physically closer to say my goodbyes. But there are, of course, no physical barriers to Swami. As He strolled as near to me as He could get, our eyes focused upon each other and I thanked Him in my heart and said goodbye. His silent, loving reply came into my heart, ‘Happy, happy, I’m very happy with you. Don’t worry about your father, he is with me. I will not see you tomorrow.’ After this Swami smiled and continued giving darshan.
I felt so peaceful. It was as though my heart had stopped beating, as though my feet were not touching the ground. Swami was happy with me and my father was with Him! I knew this to mean that my father had died. Yet I felt no sadness, no loss, just joy for my father who was now living in the presence of God and joy that my father could see that his son was not on the wrong path.
My family was stunned that I knew of my father’s passing prior to my arrival home—stunned and somewhat shaken. Various family members and relatives then told me how Jack had telephoned them upon receipt of my letter. To each one he had said, ‘I feel so peaceful, so much at peace.’
Doctors estimated that my father had died in the late afternoon or early evening of Saturday, June 23, 1990, as Melbourne time, within hours or even minutes of Swami’s informing me.
~Kevin O’Farrell, Melbourne, Australia
(Courtesy: Sathya Sai Baba Magazine, U.K.)
