The Call

Joy and sorrow are the two streams that join to form the river of human life. Overcoming numerous obstructions, and causing prosperity and adversity alternately to many, the river flows along, until it merges in the sea. The aim of the torrential river is to attain the calm of the sea; even so, the goal of man is to attain supreme bliss and peace, by losing himself in the bliss and peace of the Paramatma [absolute spirit], God.

My life has flowed through the joys and sorrows of good fortune that come rarely to man, and have to be treasured very gladly and with gratitude. The experience I am about to relate is surely the greatest, the most beatific and the happiest event in my life beyond my wildest dream.

On the 5th of October 1972, at about 10 in the morning, my manager Niloo-da showed me a telegram, and told me that Sri Sathya Sai Baba had asked me to come to Prasanthi Nilayam and sing bhajans [songs of praise].

My first reaction was negative. Although I had heard of Baba, I knew next to nothing about Him. So, I had no enthusiasm to accept the engagement. I pleaded long to be excused. But, Niloo-da was not a person to take a refusal from me. He entreated saying, “You do not realize what a fortune this is for you. Baba has Himself caused this telegram to be sent! No.We cannot let you off!” I ultimately had to give in.

The Answers

The 12th of October was the day chosen for departure. When that date was confirmed, Sri Sukumar Mitra and his wife Pansy, family friends for a long time, wanted me to see them. Pansy-di had been ill for long. They asked me to carry a letter to Baba. Putting the letter in my hand, she said, “Juthika-di, you are going to Baba, but, do you know anything about Him; have you read any books about Him? Have you seen any picture of His?” Sukumar Babu asked, “Do you want to see a picture of Baba?” I said, “Yes. I am not happy that I am going to Him without knowing anything or seeing anything. It would be nice if you can show me a picture.”

Sukumar Babu handed me a picture of Baba. I looked at it and I was filled with a rapture of delight! I saw the ‘living’ Krishna, smiling and blessing. I forgot how long I was in that state. Later, I turned to Pansy-di and said, “It was a great chance that I saw it.” From that moment, I began yearning with joy and fervor for a darshan [sight of a holy person] of Sai Baba. My mind was longing for the moment when I could see Him and sing bhajans to Him with all my heart.

My brother Kalipada and I arrived at Bangalore in the afternoon at 4:30 p.m. and by 5:00 p.m., we left the airport. Two gentlemen from Prasanthi Nilayam met us with a car. The long drive was filled with the exquisite experience of natural beauty. The range of hills in the distance, the green fields below, the row of green trees, and the lakes filled to the brim by rivulets captivated my heart. We passed through tiny hamlets. We were urged to take a cup of tea after we had travelled a few miles. Later we realized that the devotee, who had pressed us to drink, was conferring a great benefit on us. It grew dark and our car kept up its high speed as the rest of the road was not so good. After the tarred road ended, it was riddled with potholes.

Darshan

It was nearly 8:00p.m. when we drove into Prasanthi Nilayam. Volunteers rushed toward me and said, “Baba has already announced your name. Come and have darshan right now! They refused to understand that I was tired after the long travel, and I had not had any rehearsal sessions with the supporting musicians!

My brother and I got down from the car and followed the volunteers for darshan. Baba was poised on the stair, at the back of the vast auditorium, which was jam-packed with devotees. In a burst of joy, Baba called out, “Juthika Roy! Juthika Roy!” I bowed at His feet. He said, “Go in.” My brother bowed. He touched him on the head and back, and asked him to go in too.

A strange feeling possessed me. The fatigue and the lassitude had completely vanished! I felt I could sing without any difficulty. Shrimati Pratima Banerjee and Shrimati Supriti Ghose were there. Pratima took her seat for her song; my turn was next. I was waiting, but, within minutes, a devotee informed me that I did not have to sing that evening; I would sing on Navaratri [the nine day festival].

Blessings

When we were watching the morning festivities on the 16th, Baba smiled at me and said, “You sing today.” During the noon hours, when I allowed myself a little rest, Sri A. K. Dutt brought me two saris that Baba sent to me with His blessings. “Wear them at the bhajan,” Sri Dutt said. I said, “These have borders; I do not wear such saris; I can only wrap one round like a chaddar [shawl] when I sing.” Sri Dutt insisted that I wear the sari, as Baba Himself had sent them.

A bolt struck me as I did not know any way out of this difficulty. My mind was confused; I became anxious and wondered if I could sing my best with an upset mind. Just then, Sri Dutt came running in, “See, Baba who dwells in our hearts has sent you these white silk borderless saris!” I heaved a sigh of relief and was very happy.

Bhajans

I proceeded to the auditorium at 8 p.m. As I tuned the instruments, Baba came toward me and I bowed before Him. He told me, “Let the tempo be quick; sing high, sing with fervor. “ I began the bhajan. There were thousands in the auditorium but there was not a sound, not a stir. Music filled the air. I could not imagine how well my songs were received. It was all due to Baba’s grace, I am sure.

It filled me with great joy and I continued to sing uninterruptedly for a long time. Then, I thought I should end and I began the well-known Mira bhajan, ‘Yogi mat ja.’ When the last notes faded out slowly, I turned to Baba to say, “It’s done.”

Baba pointed a finger at me and said, “No, no, you must sing another bhajan.” I began the bhajan, “To this servant, my Lord has said, ‘Bhagavan is my name, some call me Ram, some Shyam.” Baba sat next to the tabla [Indian drums] player, swaying with supreme joy. As the song ended, I again ventured to suggest, “May I end here?” Again, He pointed the finger at me and asked me to sing another bhajan. I was concerned about the song I should select. At last I decided to sing, “Come! Give me your vision, O, Lord! I cannot live without you.” As I launched into this Mira bhajan, Baba appeared lost in delight. I too was singing in a joy I never experienced before. I had never witnessed such a blissful scene. The last notes of the song floated away into the distance.

Grace

I heard Baba’s tinkling voice, “Juthika Roy.” I drew near Him, and stood in silence. Addressing me in Hindi, He said, “Today is Navaratri. I was happy to hear your bhajan.” While saying this, He turned His palm downward and made rapid circular motions. I was astounded; I thought He was blessing me in that manner! But, when He stopped and turned the palm upward, it held a gold locket, with precious gems, and an enameled picture of Baba reclining on Anantasayya [Vishnu’s resting place]. Baba said, “I am very happy to hear your bhajan. I give you this navaratna—nine gemmed—necklace.” Placing it in my out-stretched hand, He said, “Wear it, wear it.”

With all reverence, I put the chain round my neck and prostrated before Him. He asked me, “When are you leaving?” I replied, “Please tell me when should I leave.” He said, “Don’t go tomorrow. Go on the 12th day, dwadasi” I was happy that I could stay for two more days and witness the festivities. Abhishek [ceremonial bath] of Shirdi Baba’s idol was performed on the 10th day. Jhulan [swing] was observed on 11th day. It was a wonderful scene; it seemed to me that Krishna was swinging in Gokula.

As soon as the jhulan was over, Baba sent word that my brother and I could see Him and have the coveted ‘interview.’ As we stood in the interview room, Baba came down the steps. He noticed at once that the fan had not been switched on. He switched it on Himself. I bowed at His feet. He inquired if I had any hardships; I assured Him that, on the contrary, I was leaving with a great deal of bliss. Uttering the word, ananda [bliss] again and again, He stopped right in front of me and said, “You have everything within you—ananda, love of service, renunciation, and devotion. But you have the habit of worrying; why do you worry so much?” I replied, “Perhaps it is because I am in worldly life.” Baba at once said, “No, no. Do not let yourself worry so much. I am always with you. I will appear before you, often. You have nothing to fear, nothing to worry about. I am with you.”

Ananda

Tears streaming down my cheeks, I felt my life was blessed as I stood before the Lord, receiving benediction, consolation, and the assurance of protection from Him. With another wave of His hand, He created a little silver image of Krishna on one side and Narayana on the other, and placed it in my hand saying, “Worship this.”

Holding the little image in my hand, I boldly said, “When I first saw Your picture, I saw the living Krishna in it.” Without losing a moment, Baba said, “Yes. Correct. I visited you then.” He created vibhuti [sacred ash] for my health and my voice, and gave it to me. He gave materialized vibhuti to my brother too. And in a moment, He disappeared up the stairs.

I bowed before the vanishing figure. I said within myself repeatedly, “O, my Lord! How much You have given me today! I can never forget it in my life. I return today with supreme ananda and peace. I have no worry, no fear, no sorrow, and no misery. All I have is ananda, ananda.

Baba is everywhere

We left Prasanthi Nilayam at 6 a.m., on the 19th of October. All the way, my mind recalled the varied pictures of Baba. I saw Him on hilltops, in the water of the streams, in the green fields, in the sky and air. He appeared sometimes with hands raised, sometimes smiling, sometimes swinging in the jhula, sometimes discoursing force-fully, and sometimes singing bhajans sweetly. I was lost in a transport of joy. I hardly realized that we had reached Bangalore. Oh, it is impossible to describe Him unless one sees Him and experiences Him oneself!

~Juthika Roy, Calcutta
Source: Sanathana Sarathi, September 1973