The Private Room

In the following article, a devotee captures the quintessential experience of a much-solicited private audience with Sri Sathya Sai Baba. The seemingly indifferent attitude of the Lord metamorphoses into an intimate, almost familial interaction during the private audience. 

On the western end of the front verandah [porch] of the Prasanthi Nilayam [Sri Sathya Sai’s residence] is the Private Room. On the verandah sit a medley of men, women, and children, the rich and the poor, the zamindar [landlord] and the ryot, the uncommon as well as common man. They all sit facing the closed door, looking at their watches, waiting impatiently for the Divine doctor.

It is 11 a.m., now. The sound of Om starts filling the prayer hall and overflows into the verandah. He [Sai] is due, any time! The door opens. Baba’s serene face casts a searching look at the expectant gathering. There is no smile on His face; He looks very serious. Although He has known me for some time—this is my seventh visit to Puttaparthi—He looked at me indifferently, as if I was not there! Perhaps, I wondered, He has changed since I saw Him last… But He spoke with such intimacy then. Why was He so indifferent now.

I thought that considering the obvious urgency of my problems, and the thousand and odd miles I had traveled hither, I would be His first invitee into the room. But no. His eyes search on, for others.

I wait …. In goes the first invitee. The door closes, and all of us wait on, counting the minutes, rehearsing how best and how quickly to acquaint Him with our diseases or difficulties.

Then, the door opens again. Well! Surely this time Baba will call in His old devotee…. But, His eyes are searching again. I wonder why He does not see the most obvious and call me in. Oh! I see Him beckoning and think I was not wrong after all. Don’t I know my Baba? No! There is some mistake. The call is not for me, but for the gentleman sitting behind me! Very gently, but with the same indifference, He asks me to sit down and calls in that stranger. That devotee, indeed, has come to Puttaparthi for the first time.

I resume the anxious wait. I am not sure anymore; my seniority apparently has no claims in Puttaparthi! The story repeats itself many times; I am giving up hope. Wait! This time, Swami beckons me. I turn back and look. It truly is my turn this time. The face [of Baba] is still very grave. I am afraid that He is about to give the most disheartening news or, perhaps, chide me for some foolish thing I have done. Well! There is no retreat now. I go in…. The door closes.

Lo! That indifferent smile has melted into the most gracious enchantment. He pats me on the back, enquires about my family, bridges the past with the present and knits them with the future. He tells me why things are as they are, gives me the correct advice on my everyday problems, reminds me of my social duties, chides me for judging others harshly, and even talks with respect about persons for whom I have contempt! He talks on and on. It is almost half an hour and, still, He is in no hurry! I get the feeling that I have been favored and that I must be very dear to His heart. He talks about my problems as if they are His own.

The great psychologist delves into the innermost recesses of my heart and graciously overlooks the dark spots that I know are there. Surely, He knows them all. With His characteristic grace, He fills the heart with hope and courage, and He gives me the right perspective to view all my problems. Baba is still in no hurry! Each according to his need and at the right time, the Divine healer calls in and prescribes. He pats me on the back again. I almost feel guilty that I had misunderstood the [indifferent] expression on His face earlier. He opens the door and lets me out in to the wide world, energized with renewed hope and courage.

I look back, the face [of Baba] no longer smiles! He looks at me with what seems to be indifference. The eyes are searching again for the next patient, trying to detect other heartaches. After all, He alone knows whose heart aches more.

The [Lord’s] finger beckons again; and into the Private Room leaps another heart, in quest of cures for the body and the mind, which only this Divine physician can give!

~M. Venkatanarayana, M.Sc. Ph.D.
Source: Sanathana Sarathi, January 1961