Call Me With Love
The following talk was given at the Labor Day Retreat in St. Louis in September 1997, soon after the Rahm family returned from their visit to Sai Baba. The five members of the family—Al, Marisa and their children—Shanti (9 years), Athena (16 years) and Alaya (18 years)—were blessed with several interviews and many lessons that they shared in their talk, parts of which are reproduced below.
Al
We were with Swami for six weeks on this trip to Puttaparthi, and so many beautiful and incredible experiences took place. But we began to realize there that all the physical things He does (such as interviews, materialization and discussing paperwork) is just an excuse for using His incredible divine sweetness and love to gradually saturate and penetrate the many layers of your being until you are intoxicated. If you want proof of Sai Baba, just close your eyes and open your heart—that’s where you’ll find it.
Marisa
Last fall we had been planning for the whole family to go and see Swami in India. Alaya was about to graduate from high school, and he had all kinds of plans and ideas sprouting. I was feeling some separation anxiety setting in: What does it mean to be a family? How do we all change and grow with Alaya and his new liberties? When we came to the point of making plane reservations, Alaya said he was considering attending basketball camps all summer. We did not want to punish him, so one day when he came to ask me what he should do, I told him that it would be nice to have him around with the family, but whatever he decided, we would be with him. That night he came home and said he would accompany us. So we were going as a family.
We started with a hike to the source of the Ganges, and it was beautiful. On the way back, Shanti got dysentery. When we reached Baba’s ashram in Rishiikesh, the doctor there gave her a very strong medication for worms. She didn’t get better and, on the way to Delhi, developed spots all over her body. We stayed a week in Delhi because she was too ill to travel. The doctor there wanted to put her in the hospital to be fed intravenously because she couldn’t eat and barely drank any water. We didn’t feel the hospital was necessary; and as soon as she seemed to improve, we left for Puttaparthi. Two days after we arrived, Swami called us in for an interview, and He said to me, “You are always worrying. You worry about your children. Don’t worry. I’ll take care.” The next night, all Shanthi’s symptoms reoccurred, and so I stayed with her in the room and did not go to darshan [to see the Lord]. Sitting by her side, I said to Swami, “You asked me not to worry. So now I’m asking you for a sign to let me know that you are taking care of this child. You prove it to me.” I also asked Him to send vibhuti [sacred ash] through Alaya and Al. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up, Alaya was entering the room with vibhuti in his hands Swami had come to them and asked how they were, and when Alaya said that Shanti was sick, He blessed her and gave vibhuti for her. As a mother, I could feel the key turning in my heart that He did this for me, for my faith.
At the evening darshan, Swami asked about Shanti. Al told him she had been sleeping all day. “Not sleeping,” Swami said, “weakness.” He materialized some more vibhuti for her and said that it should be taken in water, half at night and half in the morning. It was not normal Vibhuti: It was yellow in color and smelled like penicillin. Shanti did not like the taste and we had to insist that she take it. Within an hour she was out of bed, going to the canteen for food, and running around the ashram. For four days, during every darshan Swami would ask Alaya and Al about her. Then we were called in for an interview and Swami asked her how she was feeling. I asked Swami if Shanti was going to be okay, and He said, “Yes, for now.” I wondered what He meant.
For days, everything was okay. Then suddenly she started complaining about stomach pain. I told her that Swami had given us the vibhuti and that we had to have faith in Him. But she wanted to go the doctor, so I wrote Swami and asked Him what to do.
She wrote Him, “Dear Baba, if you are God, then take away my stomachache” That morning, after darshan, there was a knock at the door, and a sweet, beautiful lady in a white sari was standing there asking if anyone was sick in the room. She said that she was Swami’s doctor and that Swami had sent her to examine the patient. She said that Shanti should go to the super specialty hospital and have a full scan of her body, and she advised Shanti to have sugar and bread—the two things l had stopped her from eating. Then Alaya came in with vibhuti Swami had made. Meanwhile, at the bhajans, Swami came to Al and said to take Shanti and me to the super specialty hospital. Swami also said that He would be sending a car and that a full picture of the body should be taken.
At 9 o’clock, Swami’s driver came and took us to the hospital. They did a full scan of Shanti’s body, and it showed nothing wrong. The doctor gave Shanti two packets of Vibhuti, which Swami had sent for her with instructions that a pinch of vibhuti be taken three times a day. Shanti’s stomachache started to go away. That evening at Darshan, Swami came to speak to Al. “The problem was from a mistake in Delhi. The medication was too strong. Stop all medicine; only use My vibhuti. We will use food to heal her. No butter or any sweet. Also, she is a girl,” Swami continued, “And girls have too much psychological imagination. Her mother is also worried.” Al knew that Swami had told me not to worry and so he said, “Only a little Swami.”
“Not only from now, this illness is from five years back.”
“Yes Swami.”
“She has had digestion problems for years. For many years her mother has been worried.”
“Yes Swami.”
Swami called us again for an interview. The first thing Swami asked Shanti was, “And how are you?” Shanti said, “Much, much, much better.” Swami mimicked her and said, “Not much, much better, just better.” Then He materialized a beautiful silver box. Holding it, He rubbed His right hand over it while quietly chanting something nearly inaudible. Then He tapped the lid three times and said, “Smoke is coming.” It appeared as if some smoke was coming off of the container. When He opened the container the vibhuti in it was a half inch over the lip as if shaped by the lid. He took some and rubbed it on her hand like a loving mother and said, “No more doctors and no more diseases.” He asked her to give the container to her mother and told her to give a pinch of it in water every morning after breakfast. It was amazing to see the Divine Mother taking such intricate care. Swami was showing us how we should care for her and for each other by setting an example Himself.
Alaya
Throughout our stay, Swami taught me the lesson that the family was the most important part of my life after God. He taught me that the mother and father are like God and to treat them like God. So after returning from India, I have been spending more and more time with my friends as I used to do.
Everyone, at some time or another, questions Swami’s omniscience. One night, after lights out at 9 p.m., I saw a girl from Spain with whom I had been making eye contact standing under a tree, and I talked with her. Next morning l told my friends that I spoke with Nadia for 20 minutes or so, and they all said, “What did you do that for? Baba is going to bust you.” Baba called us for an interview. Twice He asked Shanti, “Who is that?” And when she replied, “It’s my brother,” He said, “Not brother, bad boy.” He looked at my mother and said, “Last night he was by the tree talking to this girl from Spain.” Here I was not going to tell anyone, and there he had spilled the beans! In the personal interview He said, “You are talking to girls from Russia, Mexico etc.” He knew where the girls were from, but I had no clue—I had just spoken with them.
Al
Just to give us proof of His omniscience, we had planned to leave India on the 16th, but while we were there, we realized it would be best to leave on the 13th because then we could accompany our daughter Athena to school in California. We tried to change our reservations to the 13th, but there seemed to be very little hope. When I told Swami I could not change the reservations, He said, “Don’t ask the airport—just ask Me.” Sol said, “Now I am asking only you, Swami. What should we do?” He said, “Fly from Prashanti Nilayam on the 13th to Madras.” I asked Him what we should do in Madras for three days, and He said, “I’ll take care of it.” Later Swami asked me how many of us there were for the 13th. I said “Ten, Swami. I’ll go and buy the tickets now.” He said, “No, don’t buy them. I’ll give them to you.”
Two days before we were supposed to leave, He walked up to me during darshan and told me to make reservations to Madras. After darshan, Alaya and l went to the Indian Airlines office in the ashram, and the agent looked at us and smiled and said, “Swami has already blocked your seat.” The day of our departure, Swami called in Alaya and said, “Ask your father to buy the tickets.” Immediately afterwards, the man from the Indian Airlines office came to me and said that the tickets were ready as per Swami’s instructions, and we bought them.
When Swami said, “‘Don’t ask the airport—just ask Me,” something awakened in my heart. He really meant that you should ask Him for everything. You must realize that the person who is in charge of every single detail of your lives is He. Even though you may be dealing with different people, they are all Swami, and you are always asking Him.
When we reached Madras, we went to Singapore Airlines and they said no way could we get onto the flight to California, as they were 23 people overbooked. I told the lady that Sai Baba said we should come here. She just said, “Oh!” There we were, ten people with 23 bags, and 20 minutes before flight time we were handed ten boarding passes. We got on the flight to Singapore but had no tickets from there onwards. In Singapore, we got the same answer, “Forget it, you will be here until the l6th.” Again, we waited by the ticket counter, feeling Swami’s presence in us and around us. It was such a powerful feeling to know that we would be on that plane and the clerks just didn’t know it yet. Fifteen minutes before the flight, they handed us ten boarding passes.
In California we made arrangements to send Athena to the school that Swami had chosen for her. Then we took our originally scheduled flight to Arkansas on the 16th. Swami had told Alaya to enroll in a community college near home, and it was the last day of registration. Alaya got all the classes he wanted, despite being away all summer. Without Swami, that flow of events could never have happened, and this is the kind of energy and power, omniscient grace, protection and guidance everyone has all the time. The times when you don’t recognize it are the times when you think you are doing it. That’s the difference. When you have faith and confidence, anything can happen. can do anything and that is what He was saying to me on the verandah He said, “Don’t ask the airport—Just ask Me.” He’ll do if all.
Marisa
It is fun to share the light stories, but Prashanti Nilayam is also a hospital and we are all undergoing treatment. Lessons were coming daily on how to grow and get the love we want in our lives. At one-point Swami made something for me, and l went up to Him and said, “Thank You.” He said, “Don’t say thank-you. Thank you is in the third person. There is only one.” Just like when you bring home something for the children, you don’t want than to thank you in words but to show their thanks by helping out without being out.
In one of our interviews, Swami ushered all the others into the inner room and left our family in the outer room. Usually He follows the people going into the inner room but somehow, this time He lingered, and we were all very close to Him. Suddenly, I was up on my knees, and I said, “Swami, I love you.” He turned His head and didn’t say anything, and I asked, “Do you love me?” He said, “Yes, I love you.” That was the entire interaction, and in my mind, I said, “He could have said that more convincingly!” After the interview, when we were returning to our room, I asked Al if it wasn’t strange the way He said He loved me. Al replied that he thought it strange that I asked him. He said, “Don’t you know God loves you?” As the day went on, my mind kept replaying, ‘I love you. Do you love me?” I started to feel pretty bad, as though I had done something wrong. The next morning in the shower, I was still disturbed by the incident, and I said, “Swami, You certainly didn’t want me to feel so bad about asking this question.” And all of a sudden I heard, as clear as if I were right next to Swami, “This miserable little prison of an ego must die.” It dawned on me that this ego is a small little spec compared to all the incredible love I had come to feel in Swami’s presence. You can never satisfy the ego, regardless of how many times it is loved, cared for and appreciated. Unless you love, you can’t feel the love. Love is not something that is given to you; you feel love when you give love. In Swami’s presence it became obvious that He was not interested in words because He knows your heart—He resides there all the time.
Al
I asked, “Swami, what is the best way to go beyond ignorance?” He said, “Be in the present. Past is past, the future is uncertain, so be in the present, not the ordinary present but the omnipresent. If the present is good, the future is also good.”
It made sense to me because when you have a thought or judgement about another person or a situation, if you look at it, your mind is either in the past or in the future. This present moment is the seed of your future and if you are worried in this moment, that is the seed of your future. You cannot expect to get an apple tree from a thorn seed. If at this moment you feel the love and presence of Swami, then you are planting a good seed for the future.
The amount of attention we were given was really based on the family and what was expected of the family being together. He gave strong advice to the children on how they should listen to their mother. He said, “If you follow my teachings, your future will be filled with happiness and prosperity. If you don’t follow my teachings, your future will be filled with pain and suffering. He said that when children have too much freedom it is the fault of the parents. He stressed discipline and told us to be strict. He said, “Freedom is the end of wisdom.” He said to the children, “Honor your parents; this is what Swami likes. Don’t have too many friends: You can tell your parents and God anything, for they are your only friends.” This was very important to us because whenever we read in Sanathana Sarathi (International Newsletter of the Sai Organization) about how children should behave, we felt it was meant for Indian children and not for us foreigners. Swami doesn’t see people as Indians or Americans; He is talking to the atma [soul]. He wants you to walk the straight and narrow path that is filled with happiness and joy. He doesn’t want you to waste any time. He wants you to have absolute peace and harmony in the family. The husband and wife should respect each other and should not go’ to sleep at night with anything unresolved.
Many devotees have received gifts jewels from Swami. However, Swami is the only jewel of any true value. We would gladly pile everything on a table and give it back to insure His love and feel His sweetness with us, in us, and around us all the time.
One morning, during darshan, Swami asked Alaya and I, “Where are you from?” We knew that Swami knew we were from the United States, but we answered any way. “From the U.S.A. Swami.” Swami said, “From the U.S.A., not from me?” I said, “Yes, Swami, from You. You are everything.” He smiled brightly and said, “Very happy!” He then made vibhuti and gave some to both of us. All that you must do is dedicate all your thoughts, words, and deeds to Him. Think of Him always. That’s the safest, fastest, and surest way to reach Him. He told my wife, “Call Me on the phone.” He later explained, “There is the regular telephone and the person-to-person phone. This is the divine phone—call Me person-to-person.” A friend of ours asked, “What is the best way to call you person-to-person, Swami?” Swami responded sweetly, “With love.”
