Can We Accept Gifts from Everyone?
Aparigraha means not accepting things from others. You have every right to receive gifts or other things from your parents. You are the product of your parents and hence you can accept from them whatever they give. Aparigraha has certain subtle implications. For instance, it is not proper to accept gifts even from one’s uncles or in-laws or even from one’s brothers. When any gifts are received from these relatives you have to reciprocate them by equivalent presents. Today the aparigraha rule is blatantly violated.
For instance, boys after their education receive dowries at the time of marriage. This is very wrong. It even amounts to a sin. A girl who has been brought up well is offered to a young man in marriage. That itself is a great gift. Why should one ask for money along with the bride? The parents of the girl may give her whatever they choose. But the bridegroom should not expect or accept anything.
This is the attitude one should have toward gifts from others. It is because many of these injunctions have been given the go-by that today Bharat [India] is experiencing various troubles. Gifts can be accepted from parents, the preceptor, and God. These are the exceptions to the rule of aparigraha. From these four, you can receive anything. But even from the parents you should not seek to get anything by compulsion or litigations. What is offered by the parents with love should be received with love. There are limits to what you can receive from the parents. But there is no limit to what you can receive from God. You can accept anything from God because He is the Lord of everything. He can free you from sin and redeem you from the consequences.
God encompasses all relationships and hence one should identify oneself with God. The feeling that ‘You and I are one’ should be cultivated. Attributing relationships like mother and father to God sets binding limits to the association between God and man. In the vast ocean of sat-chit-ananda (being-awareness-bliss), the myriad human beings with different names and forms are like waves. But as the waves are made up of the same water as the ocean, all human beings are sparks of the Divine. Sat-chit-ananda is present in every human being. People out of their ignorance go in quest of sat-chit-ananda elsewhere. Ajnana (ignorance) is the cause of aviveka (stupidity). Stupidity is the cause of ahamkara (egoism). Egoism gives rise to attachment. Attachment leads to hatred. Hatred gives rise to karma (action). Karma is the cause of birth. The original cause of the chain of processes leading to birth is ignorance.
What is ignorance? It is the state of bhinnatvam (divisiveness). To regard Tat (That) as different from twam (you) is ignorance. To differentiate God from you is ignorance. All are fragments of the Divine, sparks from the same flame. When the sparks are near the fire, they retain their heat and light. But when they are away, they turn into charcoal. Likewise, when one is near God, sat-chit-ananda will be in him. When he is away from God, he will lose the attributes of the Divine. He will be immersed in ignorance. It is not mastery of books and scholarship that makes a person a jnani (knower of the Supreme Truth). ‘Advaita Darshanam Jnanam’ (To perceive the One without a second is knowledge).
Sat-chit-ananda
It is only when you manifest the bliss that is in you, sat-chit-ananda, that you can call yourself vyakti, the manifested individual. The term vyakti cannot be applied to all and sundry. He alone can be called vyakti who manifests the invisible Divinity within him.
What is meant by sat-chit-ananda? Sat is ‘Being’, that which is eternal and unchanging. Sugar has the quality of sweetness, which remains in whatever form it may be used. For purposes of analogy, sugar may be described as sat. Chit may be compared to water. It has the quality of mobility. When sugar and water are mixed, you have neither sugar nor water as such, but a new product—syrup. When sat and chit come together, you have ananda (Divine bliss).
People imagine that this bliss is to be found in jobs, marriage, property, or progeny. That is not the case. You hope for happiness in one thing after another—education, jobs, marriage, children, and so on. But happiness eludes you. The only enduring happiness is got by oneness with the Divine. The answer to the question, “Where is happiness?” is “Happiness is union with God.” Students tend to forget this in the pursuit of worldly pleasures. It is only through the ripeness of experience that this realization can come. For instance, you see a barren field in the summer. After a night’s rain, you find grass coming up. Wherefrom did it come? It is from the field. What was present in the form of seeds in the earth came up as grass after the rain. Likewise, the bliss within you will sprout when you water your parched heart with the rain of Divine love.
Scientists today have made many astonishing discoveries. But they lack peace. They have failed to understand the Vedantic truth about their true nature. Hence, they are unable to experience the bliss of the spirit that is in them. People should not underrate the powers present in the atmosphere. For instance, it is filled with radio waves coming from different broadcasting centers. But the waves maintain their individual wavelength and do not collide with the others. This electrical energy is Divine. It is one of the secrets of creation. The body is like a radio set. When you do not tune in properly by concentration you will not get the right station. Concentration is essential for every kind of activity in life. Students should realize how much can be gained by reducing one’s desires. They may experiment in a small way with reducing the consumption of coffee. They will find power increases. As desires are reduced, their willpower will grow. This ichha-shakti (will power) is being undermined today. The result is their ability to act is also reduced. Consequently, even the jnana–shakti (the power of wisdom), is lost.
Source: My Dear Students, Volume 2
