The Duty of Parents and Teachers Toward Children

Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba spoke on Easwaramma Day in May 1992 and said that parents should not hesitate to correct the child if he is wrong, and they should be exemplary in their behavior.

In this form life is transient,
Wealth and youth are not permanent;
Equally impermanent are wife and children;
Only Truth and reputation are lasting.
Concerned only with one’s good and teaching the truth,
The preceptor may chastise or beat one,
Like the mother who administers unpalatable medicine
For the good of her child.
Do not forget this truth.

What greater gift is there than the gift of food?
What greater deity is there than one’s parents?
What greater morality is there than promoting the public good?
What righteousness can excel more than compassion?
Is there any gain superior to the company of the good?
Is there any disability worse than enmity?
Is there any death on earth worse than infamy?
Is there anything more valuable than lasting fame?
Can anything be more sustaining than remembrance of the Lord?
Is there a heaven higher than inner joy?

If children are to be persons of good character, adhering to good practices, the parents should be of good character and exemplary conduct. The great teacher, Adi Shankaracharya, was the child of parents who were highly virtuous and noble in their conduct. For the great name attained by Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda, the credit goes to their parents. Many great men achieved name and fame by following in the footsteps of their parents.

A lesson Gandhi learnt as a boy

If Gandhi, who was an ordinary person, was able to achieve greatness and world renown, it was because of the lessons in good behavior that he learnt from his mother. The mother used to observe a vow: she would take her food only after the cuckoo sang in the morning. Once when Gandhi was a boy, the mother was waiting for a long time to hear the call of the cuckoo. Observing this, Gandhi went out of the house, imitated the call of the cuckoo and came in and told his mother that the cuckoo had sung and that she could take her food. The mother, who saw through her son’s trickery, slapped him on the cheek and said, “You wicked fellow; what sin must I have committed to bear a son like you?” She felt sad that such a child should have been born to her. Her grief touched Gandhi’s heart. From that moment Gandhi took a firm resolve never to utter a lie again.

In his childhood, Gandhi used to be full of fear. There was a maid in his home called Rambha. Gandhi disclosed to her how he was always afraid. Rambha told him, “Child, always recite the name of Rama. By chanting Rama’s name, your fear will go away.”

From that time Gandhi was always chanting the name of Rama. The habit of reciting Rama’s name, which began in his boyhood, continued right up to the moment of his passing. Nor was that all. By adhering to the chanting of Rama’s name, Gandhiji was able to achieve his aim of winning the country’s freedom by non-violent means. For such a life of purity and virtue, the parents were primarily responsible.

Parents lack refined qualities

Unfortunately, today because the parents themselves have no purity of character, lack refined qualities, and do not lead regulated lives, evil practices and wickedness are growing all over the world. When the parents get up from their beds abusing each other, their children get up assailing each other. Because of the malefic effects of the Kali[Iron] age, parents tend to be quarrelsome. Fathers are behaving like Hiranyakashyap.

Because of such parents, Bharat is witnessing the spread of unrighteousness and evil practices. In days of yore, the people of Bharat earned name and fame by leading virtuous and sacred lives and were an example to the world. The children of today take after their parents. The tree is based on the seed and the seed determines the nature of the tree.

For the evil ways and bad behavior of children today, the parents alone are to be blamed. Few parents choose to tell their children to speak the truth, to act righteously and earn a good name. Because of such bad parents, the nation is forfeiting its good name. It is better that such children are not born at all. They are a disgrace to their parents and to their country. Their education and their jobs may help to bring to them power, position, and wealth but do not serve to promote in them such virtues as compassion, kindness, and sacrifice. All their acquisitions have no permanence.

Whatever strength one may possesses, without the strength of the divine, he is a weakling. What happened to a valiant person like Karna? He had physical prowess, intellectual abilities, and great scholarship, but lacking Divine support, he met with a pitiable end.

Teachers’ failure

For all the ills with which the nation is afflicted today, the parents and teachers are responsible. The teachers do not punish the students (for their lapses). Because the students are not punished for their mistakes, they behave as they please. The teachers are responsible for the sins of the students. They do not teach the students the right path. They transmit only book knowledge, but do not teach the right knowledge, wise living, and higher values. If there are no morals and no human values, a man becomes a demon.

Only he is a real man who harmonizes in his life the body, the mind, and the atma. A life based on the body and the senses is an animal existence. One who is totally dominated by the thoughts and fancies of the mind is a demon. One who ignores the calls of the body and the mind and follows the call of the Spirit is divine. The animal, the demonic, and the divine possibilities are immanent in the human condition. Hence, one who values only the body and follows the inclinations of the senses is comparable to an animal. ln a sense, the animal may be considered superior to such a man because it has “a season and a reason” for its behavior. But one having the human form, who craves for sensuous pleasures alone, is worse than an animal.

Character is more important than wealth

Even for these three kinds of behavior, the parents and teachers are responsible. They are responsible for the good or bad conduct of the students. It is the parents who lead children to the highest levels or cause their fall to the lowest depths.

Parents are concerned solely about the material welfare of their children and have no concern for their moral and spiritual well-being. When a child is born, the parents desire that he should be educated, sent abroad, encouraged to make as much money as possible there by whatever means. This is all that they teach their children. People today earn money in so many different ways, from begging to dacoity. It is not wealth that is important. Character is primary. Parents do not teach the children to cultivate good qualities. They do not control children who go astray. They condone the lapses of the children and often encourage them in their bad habits.

They are encouraged in their wrong ways even as Duryodhana [from Mahabharata] was encouraged by his father, Dhritarashtra. It is because of such parents that the children today take to wrong courses. Dhritarashtra was not only physically blind but lacked also the eyes of wisdom. He was totally blind. Parents today are tending to be equally blind. They don’t correct the mistakes of their children or chastise them. They are afraid that the children might run away and commit suicide. Parents have the right to warn and correct their children.

Why should they be afraid to do so? What does it matter what happens to such wicked children? Instead of being a running sore for the parents, it is better they are no more. Death is preferable to infamy. Nor is there greater wealth than fame. Better to have a renowned son who is short-lived than an infamous son with long life.

Ensure world peace

The foremost thing that man has to acquire today is God’s love. This love will secure world peace, peace in society, and peace in the home. Through the individual’s love and morality, there will be peace and security in the home. By individuals winning the love of God, society secures peace and order. When the people have got the love of God, the world as a whole enjoys peace and happiness.

Happiness and peace are not to be found in wealth, position, or power. All these generate only fear and anxiety and not peace and happiness. Today even highly educated persons do not recognize this truth; they pose as devotees but follow the examples of their parents.

Hiranyakashyap tried all methods to divert his son, Prahlada, from devotion to God. The child was subjected to every conceivable kind of torture and ordeal: trampling by elephants, biting by cobras, and immersion in the sea. But Prahlada’s devotion to the Lord saved him. Disregarding his perverse father, Prahlada held fast to the Lord.

Noble and divine feelings are absent today

There is nothing great about being a father. No father can rejoice merely when a son is born. Only when the people praise the virtues of the son will the father rejoice over his birth. A righteous son redeems himself and his family. Verily, they alone are fit to be called parents who bring up such virtuous children.

Prahlada declared, “He alone is a father who tells his son: Child, realize God. He is a true Guru who leads the disciple to God.” Such teachers and parents have become rare these days. All that had brought fame and glory to the country in the past has become a waste because of the decline of moral values and behavior. The educational system is utterly vitiated. There is no attempt to promote human qualities. Noble and divine feelings are absent. It is utterly unbecoming of those who call themselves human beings to behave like animals with no devotion to God….

Responsibility of parents toward children

Every effort has to be made to experience Divine love and purity. One who has secured love can accomplish anything. Nothing is beyond his reach. Hence, one should be worthy of God’s grace. Without Divine grace, man is no more than an animal. Man should strive to control his senses, develop good qualities, and lead an ideal life. Parents are primarily responsible for bringing up children who will lead such ideal lives. Therefore, they have to reform themselves.

Today parents all over the country are worried about the conduct of their children and are not at all happy. They lament about the behavior of their children, but do not realize that they are themselves to be blamed. If the parents had brought up the children on right lines, would they go astray? Pampering the children in various ways, they are allowed to go about like street dogs. How can such boys be reformed? It is impossible. When wealth grows, arrogance increases and morality declines.

Men should realize that without God’s love, human existence is utterly valueless. A bird like Jatayu earned God’s grace. A simple old woman like Shabari won God’s love. But men today, despite their scholarship and scientific knowledge, are making no attempts to secure God’s love. What is the use of this education or science? True science should serve to promote the progress of the nation. But today, in the name of science, the world is being destroyed. Education should not breed a class of parasites who exploit others. It should help to promote good qualities.

Victory can be won only with God’s grace

Students should remember that this country was known in the past as a land where people led truthful and righteous lives. Krishna told Arjuna that he should consider God and dharma (righteousness) as most important. Because the Pandavas [from Mahabharata] adhered to righteousness and had firm faith in God, they could ultimately enjoy all prosperity and happiness. Because of their love for God, they could bear with fortitude all troubles and difficulties. What was the fate of the Kauravas who ignored God? Not one of Dhritarashtra’s 100 sons survived. Despite all the resources they had and the valiant commanders who were on their side, God was not on their side.

True victory can be won only by God’s grace. Strive for securing the love of God. Today, love is being misused for satisfying the senses, with deplorable results. (Swami related the dialogue between Yajnavalkya and his wife, Maitreyee, over attachment to the things of the world and pointed out how Maitreyee was as ready to give up worldly possessions as the sage himself). Today such couples are rare. There must be such couples who will give birth to virtuous children. Only virtuous children can bring a good name to the country.

Of what use is a son who does not use his hands to perform good deeds, who does not use his tongue to utter the Lord’s name, and who does not cherish in his mind truth and compassion? This is the triple purity that makes human life sublime.

Students should dedicate their lives to the service of others. Cultivate love. Remember the great mothers in the past who gave to the world Avatars from time to time. What is the inner significance of observing today as Mother’s Day? It means that women should become such great mothers. The fathers should be exemplary in their conduct. When the fathers are not setting the right example, the children should be such as to have the courage to correct the parents. But unfortunately, there are neither exemplary parents nor exemplary children.

Source: Sathya Sai Speaks, Vol. 25