Sai Mere Praana Sakha Bhagavan
Hirak Doshi, a Doctoral Research Scholar is in the Department of Mathematics & Computer Sciences at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, Prasanthi Nilayam.
The clarion call came from the Lord on the 19th of May 2011, when He offered me a seat in His hallowed institution. My joy knew no bounds. I had fervently prayed to Him for this opportunity and He responded. Thus began my journey with Sai, a journey full of bliss, a journey toward self-realization. Things started sinking in slowly as the days passed, for the Lord had started chiseling to sculpt out the shining diamond as He wanted. Let me narrate one of my experiences to validate this statement. It was in my second year in Brindavan (college) that I injured my leg while playing basketball barefoot. The injury was not that deep, but I was advised to take an anti-tetanus injection. Soon after that injection I contracted a high fever. For the next two days I was completely incapacitated. It was the Third Year Students’ Day (a day when third year college students are anointed with their batch name).
While all of the students in the Hostel went for the program, I was alone in the room. After the program was over, my room leader came back to the room. He touched my forehead and remarked, “Hirak, you’re burning hot.” I was anxious because I had already taken two tablets and I did not want to take the third one. I then went back to my sole refuge, my chit box, picked up one chit and it read: ‘Your actions in the past are responsible for this, pray to Sai’. Immediately I started praying to Him to make things easier for me. I kept His photo in my pocket (one in which Swami was materializing the Hiranyagarbha Lingam [the golden symbol of God]). Believe it or not, the fever went down within 15 minutes, and by the night prayer I was almost normal.
Can I ever understand His ways? Can I ever comprehend the depth of His love and concern? I started experiencing Him more and more and started loving Him more and more. Indeed, the lessons learnt in my Bal Vikas [Sai spiritual education for children] days paved the way for His love and concern for me. I had a long-standing desire that Swami should speak to me in Bengali. I know this is something weird, but the mind cannot be devoid of desires, and I forgot about it. One night, Swami appeared in my dream, and the dream was as follows: I was hurrying for a ‘Trayee [Brindavan, Swami’s abode in Bangalore] session’, and on reaching the Trayee gate I saw Swami pacing up and down the side room next to the main room. It was as if He was waiting for somebody. Later I realized that He was waiting for me. I hurriedly rushed to Him and without thinking anything asked, “Swami, Padanamaskar [the touching of Swami’s feet]?” Then came the Divine master stroke. Swami spoke in Bengali and told, “Nao”, which in Bengali means ‘take’.
The dream ended there, and the next morning I woke up ecstatic and overwhelmed. I only had His darshan [seeing Him] in the physical domain, but through this dream He gave me sparshan (touch) as well as sambhashan (conversation). He is the one who fulfills even the smallest of the wishes if it emerges from a yearning heart. Can I ever thank Swami for anything? Can I ever reciprocate even an iota of love as a gift to Him for this selfless love? Well, I do not know. My stay in Brindavan for three years was a turning point in my life. The amount of learning that took place is inexplicable. Every day ushered in something new, every Trayee visit was a feast for the soul and the mind.
I remember Sri Sanjay Sahni, the Director of the campus, addressing us thus in the Prayer Hall: “The nootan(present generation), in order to reach the sanathana (eternity), needs the help of puratan (scriptures, Vedas)”. Taking this as an inspiration from the very first day, I learnt Vedam, participated in Bhajans [sacred hymns], and tried to shorten my distance between me and Swami in every conceivable way.
I remember once Sri Sanjay Sahni arranged for us an appointment with Dr. Mahesh, an adept at nadi vaidya (a natural and ayurvedic blend of healing technique just by touching the veins). I was not very comfortable with the climate at Brindavan and was prone to severe allergic sneezing. That day while treating me, Dr. Mahesh shared something very dramatic. Just the previous night, Swami came in His dream and told him, “Go to Brindavan, two boys are waiting for you.” That one statement from Swami made him drive 30 kilometers from Malleshwaram just to treat two unknown students free of cost, and that too at a time as early as 8.30 am. This meant that he had to start as early as 6.30 am in the morning. Dr. Mahesh, while sharing this incident, made a remark that still rings in my ears. He told me, “Do you see Swami’s concern for His children? The very fact that He had told me to come to Brindavan today is an indication that you have to do a lot of work for Swami in future. That is why He wants you to stay fit.” What greater fortune do I need than this?
Can there be a greater blessing than being an instrument in His Divine mission? Many times I have tried to understand His ways only to end up being baffled and dumbfounded. It is not at all necessary to understand Him because we simply cannot understand Him. Let us all immerse ourselves in that nectarine sweetness of His Divine love.
At this point I am reminded of one more incident. This happened very recently. During the last winter vacation, while returning home I had to board the connecting Jagannath Express from Bhubaneswar toward Kolkata. After boarding the train at 12 o’clock in the night and putting my luggage properly, I went to sleep. The next morning I got up just as the train was approaching the Howrah station. A vague perception of something disastrous swept across my mind when I touched my pocket. The keys were missing!
After some time, I realized that my luggage was alright and the amount of money that I was carrying was also intact. I heaved a sigh of relief, but I needed to find the keys, otherwise I would not be able to open my luggage and my Hostel cupboard. I was tense. I searched everywhere and even asked the attender of the coach and my co-passengers, but none could help. By this time the train arrived at the Howrah station.
After handing over my luggage to my parents I went back again to search in the same compartment looking for the keys. Suddenly feeling my pocket once again I came in contact with something metallic, realizing that they were the missing keys. I had not spared any pockets when I was frantically searching for the keys, and they were not there for sure. The Lord came to the rescue of His child in distress.
Most beloved Bhagavan! Can I ever fathom the depth of Your love? I am ignorant. Why do I love You Lord? Should I love You because You cured my fever or because You got me back my lost keys in the train from nowhere, or because You got my grandfather back from the clutches of death when he broke his shoulder? Those were Your visiting cards Swami, as You call them. There is something subtle and transcendental that encapsulates each of these events. That something is nothing but ‘Love’ unsullied, unconditional. It is an assurance that there is someone above me who looks after me, takes care of me, and most important of all, He is my ‘praana sakha’ (eternal friend).
Bhagavan! As a person of limited resources, allow me to summon up all that You have given me to offer to You on this most awaited 90th birthday celebration. Let me on this day offer myself to You completely.
Source: Sai Nandana 2015 (90th Birthday Offering)
