What Bhagavan Means to Them

The following article describes the impact of Bhagavan Baba and His teachings on overseas young adults over the past two decades. The account highlights some of the profound personal transformations the young devotees experience even as they tried to imbibe His teachings in their everyday lives.

Twelve-year-old David is from southern California, U.S.A. He speaks softly but earnestly about how Sai Baba freed him from a consuming fear that resulted in severe anxiety and depression.

“I had this fear that I was going to be killed by a murderer who was killing people in our area. I felt he was following me and would suddenly jump out of a shadow. I was constantly afraid. I was staying with my grandmother because my parents were in Prasanthi Nilayam. So, I did not know what to do about it. Even after the killer was caught, I still had this fear. I felt death could come from any-where, suddenly, at any time.

Then, it became more general than just the fear of dying. I would become anxious and fearful without any reason. It was like a horrible dark cloud surrounding me. When my parents came back home, I told them about this. My mom and dad talked a lot about it with me, and it was somewhat helpful. But this dark fear held on to me. I was never happy. They suggested I pray to Baba and ask for His help.”

David’s father, who listened as his son related his experience, explained that earlier David was usually bright and cheerful. When they returned from India, they were dismayed to find him so sullen and apprehensive. Much as both parents tried to console their son, no amount of sympathy and understanding would bring him relief. They decided to immediately turn to Baba for guidance and solace.

Baba to the rescue

David then resumed, “I said to Baba, ‘I can’t handle this on my own. I know you love me, and will help me. Take this fear away from me, and rid me of it.’” Whenever I felt this fear get hold of me, I would ask Baba to protect me. Sometimes, I would see Baba out of the corner of my eye. There would be a flash of His hair and bright orange robe, but when I turned in the direction where I saw Him, He would be gone. I knew that He had been there because I felt Swami’s love in my heart, and it would engulf me. Then, the black cloud [of fear and anxiety] would vanish for a while.

I had an altar for Baba at home and I would place butter and milk on it as an offering. I noticed that at times, they would disappear. I knew Baba had accepted my offering. Then, I began to feel in my heart that Baba would accept anything I offered Him. So, I gave everything over to Baba’s hands, everything [including my fears]. I became happier and happier. Baba had taken the fear from me, crumpled it up, and thrown it away. Now, I just let Baba work through me. Swami has even helped me with reports at school. At times when I fell behind in my school work, I just prayed to Baba to help me complete it. I just let Him do it through me. Whenever I prayed to Baba to help me, I received top grades. He always came through!

Spiritual friends

David continued: “I used to lose friends because of Baba. They would come over and see Baba’s pictures. Then they would want to know who this guy with the orange gown and afro-hair was? No matter how hard I tried to explain who Baba was, I could not make them understand. They would say, ‘I don’t think I’ll be your friend because I think you are crazy!’

But, now Baba is giving me friends who are spiritual. When I introduce them to Baba, they like Him and want to know more. They think it is me who is telling them. But, really, it is Swami speaking and He makes them my friends and His devotees. Sometimes even their parents become devotees, and we all go to Bal Vikas [Sathya Sai education classes] together. I am becoming increasingly fearless. I know Baba is everywhere. He is pouring love through me, and I love everything and everybody.”

David was asked if meeting Baba in Prasanthi Nilayam had changed his attitude about Him.

He replied, “I used to think that Baba was just for me… that He was mine. Now, I can see how He knows everybody, and speaks to so many people during darshan [seeing a holy person] that Swami is for everybody.”

I am with you

Fernando of Argentina is a 14-year-old boy. He has curly brown hair and soft compassionate eyes. He seldom talked with others while waiting for darshan and bhajans [devotional singing]. He would sit quietly by himself and meditate. He is very composed and speaks with a quiet assurance.

I asked him: “How old were you when you first came to see Baba?”

He said, “I was eight years old. My mother had been a devotee for three and one-half years when she took me with her on my first trip. This is our fourth time here.”

“Were you at all surprised when you saw Baba? Did you feel something special happen?” I asked.

“I was very happy. I danced around a lot! But there were no surprises for me. My mother had told me Baba was God when I was four years old. When I came here, I already knew Baba was God. Nothing He could do would surprise me.”

“When you were so fortunate to be called in for interviews, what was your impression of Baba when you could be so near Him?” I said.

“I like the interviews because Baba is so different. During darshan, He is serious and His actions seem so human. But inside the interview room, He is so loving and concerned. He materializes many different objects for people, and they are so happy. Then Baba is happy because they are happy. He knows everything. When I leave the interview room I have greater faith,” Fernando said.

I queried, “How do you follow Baba’s teachings? Is there one teaching that is your favorite?”

“I like it when Baba says, `Why fear when I am here?’ Baba tells me all the time, `I am with you and you are with Me. I will always help you.’ I feel it is important for me to always keep Him in my mind. Then there are no distractions. I pray to Baba all the time. He is inside my heart and I hear Him. When I do not know what to do, I ask Him; Baba always guides me, and I follow what He says. I read Baba’s books for inspiration. But He guides me personally as well. In my home country, Baba is always helping me.”

Discovering Baba

Mathys of Holland is 20 years old. When he speaks, his tall frame becomes taut, his brilliant blue eyes flash with enthusiasm, and his hands slice through space as he stresses his statements.

“What sparked your spiritual interests?” I asked.

“I was very religious when I was young. When I went to intermediate school, I learned about Darwinism, which scientifically demonstrates that man evolved from lower life forms. This created a great conflict in me because of my religious schooling which had taught me that man was created directly by God. I felt compelled to find out how man and creation came about, and what their relationship was. A school teacher knew of my interests. He knew Hebrew quite well, and revealed to me profound Biblical secrets. I realized that the deep spiritual truths are not obvious. They are hidden and one has to search and dig for them,” said Mathys.

“How did you discover Baba?” I continued.

“My mother saw the book, The Holy Man and the Psychiatrist at a neighbor’s home and borrowed it. She asked me to read it. I was ready for the book because I had already read about yoga and Indian masters. I believed in miracles, and I wanted to get into tutelage with a master. I was even ready to go to the Himalayas. After I read the book, I immediately accepted Baba as God, the Avatar. But I had no hope of becoming a devotee of His because He already had so many thousands of devotees, and I was looking for a close relationship. A major turning point in becoming a devotee came when I clutched The Holy Man and the Psychiatrist and a feeling of love and protection flowed through me.”

“What happened when you first saw Baba?” I probed further.

So enchanting

“I felt that even if I saw Sai Baba from three kilometers away, I would be happy. But, when I actually saw Swami, I felt nothing. He was just going to His room during the arati [waving of the flame]. It was so quick. As I went to darshans and bhajans, I fell in love with Him. I found His behavior so beautifully human; the way He would smile, tilt His Head, and the way He moved His fingers, He was so enchanting. I also found His ways mystifying. Some-times I would become so depressed during bhajans in the mandir [temple]. Then, during the last few minutes, all the bad feelings would be washed out, and there would be just joy.

I asked: “What teaching of Baba’s were you first attracted to, and how have you applied it in your life?”

“Do not get swelled when praised or shrink when criticized. Just keep equanimity. This teaching is like a medicine. It untied me to others because I was always seeking praise. When praise came, I swelled up, and when rebuked I was miserable. Even the praise hurt because it destroyed tenderness in the heart.”

“I became very attached to Swami. Before coming to the ashram, I worshipped the Unmanifest [formless universal self] and swelled with pride be-cause of the strength I was getting. My goal in sadhana was to become a siddha [one with spiritual powers].”

“When I came back home, I felt deep longing for Baba. I felt humbled, because I was very aware of my faults. Now, my sadhana is dedicated to Baba, with no expectation of a reward.”

Gave me self-confidence

“Was this trip different from your first?” I went on.

“This trip was extremely different. On my first trip, Swami gave me an interview and said beautiful things about me. Baba gave me the self-confidence to study physics even though I found it hard.”

“This time, He called the Dutch group in twice, and both times He turned me away while letting the others in. If I did not really believe Baba loves me, I would be crushed. Now, He really expects me to work harder on myself. Even though I may not get another interview on my next trip, it does not matter. I am coming back as soon as I can.”

After interviewing numerous young overseas devotees, one cannot but be impressed with their sincerity, conviction, and fervent desire to live by Swami’s teachings. Consequently, they are not tortured by self-doubt, and they express no fear about their future as is so typical of others in their age group. Yet, this should not be surprising. It is all due to the all encompassing grace of Sai.

~Andrew Rymer, Prasanthi Nilayam
Source: Sanathana Sarathi, Nov. 1990