The Malady of Egoism
Egoism, that satanic thing that lurks within us like an ever-present shadow of evil, is what prevents us from realizing the unity of God and His creation. Egoism makes us think that, as individual bodies and minds, we are the doers (of action), givers, and receivers. It separates each of us one from another and from God. It cultivates pride, conceit, and the possessive instincts and fans the flames of greed, selfishness, and envy. God is then forgotten as the giver and receiver, as the very substratum on which all creation is supported. When no effort is made to destroy, or at least curb, this devil of egoism, even the aspirant reciting his rosary and the worshipper in his shrine room, temple, mosque, or church as such forgets God.
Egoism is satanic for yet another reason. Its potentiality for mischief is tremendous, because it can assume the most subtle forms when its outer manifestations have been recognized or “treated.” It dives deep and then infests the mind again with yet more tenuous forms of pride and selfishness. At an opportune moment these erupt again into almost insane behavior or extraordinary conceit.
If you pull out the nut-grass weed only by its upper leaves it retains all its powers of future growth in its roots that go deep down. It can be eliminated only when you uproot the entire plant with all its roots. So, also, this is true with the ego. But, alas, it is easier said than done. The destruction of the ego is indeed most difficult. It is the greatest stumbling block to spiritual progress for the aspirant at all stages of his endeavor. The “higher” he thinks himself to have gone the greater is the danger of his fall—the harder also is the fall.
Egoism, again, manifests as the last stand made by the mind in its struggle to assert itself when the aspirant is endeavoring to transcend it during meditation. It madly tries to prevent the severance of the last links of attachment that the aspirant may yet have for the sensory world.
It injects fear and doubt in his mind. And, it often wins this battle.
God resides in the heart of each being because He is love or prema unlimited. Where He resides, nothing else can exist. How can it? But, we do not know this in our ignorance. We keep shut the gates of this huge reservoir and then complain of the tiny trickle that flows into the canal built to take a mighty flow. We are saddened at the strife, hatreds, and frustration that beset the world. If only we knew how to tap the infinite reservoir of mercy and love…!
When the mind is purified and is made receptive, it can cognize God in one form or another. Otherwise, it can become a place of residence for the very devil himself. Are we not sickened or horrified, ever so often, with news of cruelties and indignities committed by individuals, groups, communities, and governments alike? History is replete with examples of man’s inhumanity to man, apart from his unrelenting inhumanity to the dumb creatures that also share this world with him. All such evils arise out of hatred and indifference—which is ignorance—and not out of love; they arise out of darkness, not out of light.
How can happiness be achieved on earth — in spite of the strides made by science—when the bats of darkness infest the minds of men with the foulness of egoism? By driving these bats away, by namasmarana, by the earnest repetition of the Lord’s name—any name that pleases most or is dearest—can these creatures be scared away never to return. Such is the message of hope and redemption given to us all by the Avatar of this age, by the incarnation of the Lord Himself. He is today in our midst. Some say Sai Ram or Sai Krishna; others revere Him as Sai Nath. Some say only “Baba.” He is all these, and much more.
Let us then approach Him and take the medicines He is prescribing for our ills. Let us approach Him in all sincerity and humility. Let us not make a show of religiosity or spirituality, or take to any of the godward paths in ignorance and then complain of “neglect” at His hands. Let us not allow the weeds of egoism to smother our devotion, lest we be evilly tempted to say that Baba has deceived us, or not given a thing as “promised,” or not done what we, in our ignorance, expected Him to do!
He never deceives, hurts, or neglects! It is the creatures of the night within that do all these things to us; it is they who flit around in the darkness of our ignorance, befouling and deceiving. It is our insatiable desire, inflamed by uncontrolled imagination that causes so much misery and grief. It is we—as so many embodiments of the ego—who harm ourselves and others.
But, open the floodgates of the heart to Him, and you will be overwhelmed by the flood of His love, His prema. It is infinite and as continuous as the light that shines from the sun equally upon all. It is only this shroud of egoism that cuts us off from the ever-present light. Love for the Lord can only mean love for all of His creation; and conversely, love experienced for all is itself a divine manifestation.
Divine love can manifest only through the Lord’s grace. Let us then win that grace while the opportunity exists. Let us pray to Him that the satanic ego may never rise within us, and if it does, may we have the knowledge, determination, and strength to uproot it forthwith. May the Lord Himself do so if we are too weak for the corrective action ourselves, and [let us] willingly accept His remedy with thankfulness. Let this be our prayer, so that His prema may fill our entire being.
~Pestonjee Pocha
Source: Sanathana Sarathi, Dec. 1967
